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Thinker: An overambitious storyteller, trying to lead the other personalities with an utter lack of concern for reality.
Worker: The reliable one. He single-mindedly follows schedules, and revels in busywork.
Gamer: Cynical and bored by life, he tries to get a sense of achievement and purpose from virtual experiences.
Programmer: Always up to a good challenge.
Person: A very awkward social creature. All other characters need to defer to him when a social opportunity presents itself.
Explorer: An overgrown child, with a passion for many things: design, film, music, and random nonsense.
Addict: Absolutely obsessed, though the subject of obsession changes from day to day.
Musician: A musician.
The complete life and identity of Mory Buckman, ported to HTML.
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I can't take it any more. I just want out of this stupid, stupid play.
Excuse me? The script is excellent.
For all that's worth.
It doesn't matter whether it's good or not. You need to do your job regardless.
Right. So maybe I'd feel considerably better about this if I hadn't botched "the job", as you put it.
Did you not remember to keep your expressions restrained?
I didn't remember much of anything.
Please don't say you forgot your lines.
I didn't forget my lines, I just... agh.
Talking will help.
I have no motivation.
That should work for the character, shouldn't it? He has no motivation either, at the start. Just be yourself, and see what happens.
Maybe. It certainly felt forced today.
Let's get some semblance of order to this conversation. Now, we need to build up motivation for the next performance. So the way I see it, putting ourselves into a grouchy mood is counterproductive. We need to be happy about what's going on, so that tomorrow evening we can get out there and do a good job, like we did on opening night.
People are coming to see tomorrow's show. People I know, I mean.
I'm sorry, I don't exactly understand what went wrong tonight. Did you take my advice of aiming for naturalism?
Who can do naturalism, when I'm not getting anything from the other actors?
Please, don't blame them. This is between me and myselves.
No, it's not. We can't just ignore everyone else, we need to react to what they're doing.
And if they're not doing anything we can work with?
Please don't blame them.
Oh, fine! I admit it! I suck. I've always sucked, and it comes out now.
We don't suck.
I do. I suck. We suck. I obsessed about the particular positioning of my face-
Oh no.
Yeah. Maybe naturalism is a good idea.
Maybe, maybe not. I don't know if losing control is necessarily the right approach.
Let me ask, since no one else is, are we actually going to be posting this conversation? I ask because there's really not much time until tomorrow, and I don't see anyone taking charge and writing up some post. So that must be the plan.
Shh. We need this to be authentic. Stop being meta.
I'm just saying, maybe we should spell out what happened.
I suck, is what happened.
Oh fine. This is something I do, talking to myself because no one else cares quite so obsessively, yadda yadda yadda. There are a bunch of personalities - Explorer, you're just going to put a character list up, right?
The same one from the last post.
Fine, so there's no point talking about it.
I meant we should say what happened tonight.
I suck! I suck I suck I suck! How many times do you want me to say it?
That's not true. You did a good performance on Thursday. Or rather, the Addict did a good performance. Where is he?
We should get to work on the game right away. The play's a loss, but at least we can use these hours at home for something. We're halfway through the game, and we just need to keep working at it.
Yes. This makes sense. Enough time on the Person's moping, let's get something done. Either that, or just go over the lines of the play, but the game would fit the whole "balance" idea for the month.
Forget balance. And Addict, you're not who we need. I know I told you we might be able to work on the game this week, but that was when I assumed we'd be able to crank out good performances without trying. Maybe that attitude was to blame. We're not a good actor naturally. We need to work at it.
Our instincts are fine.
We should go with those.
I don't know, we'll need to figure that out. But we'll need the Addict in here, because I don't want a negative attitude. Tomorrow is going to be great, the final performance is going to be great. We need someone to take over those days who understands that.
I think it's a mistake to neglect the game. The play is not one tenth as important as the game.
My god, you're just like Shai! He didn't cut off my line, leaving me to do a solid thirty seconds of adlibbing apparently without him noticing that he was not saying his line which he was supposed to say, and when I confronted him about it backstage he simply didn't care. He said to me "In the grand scheme of things...", and I said he should take it more seriously, and he told me to get a life.
This story does not matter.
What? He treats the play like that, and it doesn't matter? That is exactly what is wrong with the play- people who are just not determined enough to do anything with it.
Like you, today, from the sound of it. What a hypocrite.
You take it back. I was doing my best.
It was an overly controlled performance. Be real.
That's not what we practiced!
Okay, okay. We need the Addict here.
Yes.
The other Addict.
Hey.
Nice color.
Here is the problem. How do we give a performance-
I've already answered this question. Don't act so much. You can work in little bits of theatricality here and there, but for the most part you need to just trust that we're similar enough to Arthur Brooks at this moment to make it work. The aggravation doesn't hurt.
It does hurt if it decreases energy on stage. Let's go through this beat by beat. We came in with too controlled a half-smile. Don't get it just right, just act polite while you're actually miserable.
This is actually going to be you, tomorrow. That's why I'm calling you in here.
Okay, I'll act polite while actually being miserable.
It won't help. Don't you understand, they're recording tomorrow! And my friends will be there, and we can't risk it all on some artsy experimentation!
The logic is sound. Naturalism will make Arthur more relatable.
Oh my that's interesting. This can go together with what Rafi said about talking to the audience.
Let's just go through the problems. First we came in, thinking we knew what we were doing. We never want to do that. Then we ran through the lines because we had this idea of "fast=good", which isn't right at all. Yes, everyone else is slower than molasses. But we need to feel it out.
Again, it'll be you.
Please don't bother me with pronouns, who cares.
So we just sped through the lines, not feeling the meaning behind them. If I see that I'm not feeling the lines, I will slow down and figure out what I am doing.
What, while the audience is watching?
Yes, while the audience is watching. Arthur Brooks is figuring out what his next move is, while the audience is watching. It's not a race.
It should be, the other actors would be more entertaining.
It's not a race. So that's already two fundamental problems in the first few minutes.
Then we exaggerated the smiles. We never want to do that. Keep the smile steady.
You said it needs to be naturalistic!
I don't know. Maybe.
Okay, this isn't helping. We need to figure out which part of the performance was the problem, and which should be kept.
I told you-
I know what you told me. And you're not an expert on acting, you just posed a theory.
The logic, as I say, is sound. If you didn't want to hear it, you didn't need to give me the day where I came up with it.
I don't think I'm going to go for really exaggerated facial expressions naturally.
That just comes of not being confident enough. I am a professional -by "I" I mean Arthur Brooks- and I don't care what anyone thinks. I mean, sure, I care what everyone thinks. But I want everyone to think I don't care what they think.
Is this really the personality you want controlling the Wednesday show?
Let's keep going through what happened. Came in too forced, sped through lines we didn't feel. Then we went too fast inside the rabbi's office, again with the speed issue. It's not speed so much as just phoning it in and not taking the time to care about the performance. That's the real issue.
And why should I care? It's not a good show!
But it can be.
No it can't! Even with all my mistakes, I was still...
Okay, I wasn't better than anyone else on stage, I admit it.
Arthur Brooks is a central character. He has a compelling arc, from not caring to getting slowly pulled in to rejecting all of it to being set free. Bring the audience on that journey, and no one else on stage matters. We can carry this fucking show all by ourselves.
Did you not hear me when I said how much we sucked?
Which is why we're going through, and figuring out what went wrong.
We were going through the motions of the phone conversation, rather than imagining someone on the other line. The audience can feel the other character through the phone, and when that character isn't there in my head it looks amateurish. Here there is naturalism, of a sort, but what I'm reacting to is someone who's only in my mind. That shouldn't be too much of a stretch for me. But today, it was a one-sided telephone call. We can't have that.
I think the end of Act I was perfectly adequate. No complaints there.
Wait, so is the idea that the Addict knows everything that happened with the Person? Because earlier, we were pretending we didn't know what happened at the play, so that the Person would have to tell us...
Shhh.
I mean, everyone else messed up their lines, but we covered for it as well as we could have.
So it's "we" now.
I don't care about pronouns! Shut up, we.
In Act 2 the staging was absolutely awful. We started leaning against the wall, and then very awkwardly moved to the front, drawing all the audience's attention and all so that Lulu could move to our right.
And we moved through the invisible wall at blackout! Rafi said not to do that.
Fine, I won't do that. The bigger problem was the improvised staging, and you know what? It is not my fucking problem where Lulu stands. If she's been practicing it a way that doesn't fit how we're doing it, then she'll have to figure out something else. I am going to stay by the door.
Not quite reassuring enough on "I'm sure he will be back soon.", the meaning of that's been lost. Then in the scene in the rabbi's office, I didn't care about what Lulu was saying, and that's a problem.
You know, you keep acting like it's so easy to pretend we're getting energy from the other actors that's just not there. Not once has Lulu spoken those lines there with any sort of passion, even though our next line is "It's nice to hear someone talk with passion about anything". And I get the desire for passion. It's why I don't have any healthy human relationships. But the passion was not there.
Yes it was.
What are you going on about?
The passion was there. And the lines were all there, and it was an excellent play.
What planet are you living on?!
Exactly the planet I need to live on, to make sure that tomorrow isn't like today.
Those poor people, who paid 80 shekels for this...
The people who come tomorrow will get their money's worth. That is my promise to them as an actor, and in order to do that I need to not be reliant on anything at all. This is going to be a great play because I fucking say it will.
Is it necessary to keep swearing?
No.
So we didn't listen to the analyst on the phone, and we didn't pay attention to the astonishing amount of passion in what Lulu was saying.
You can't even remember what she was talking about.
She was talking about her entire life, as one does. Moving on.
The monologue was bad.
What was bad, specifically?
We didn't feel it. Same problem.
Not easily fixed.
Very easily fixed. These are wonderful words we're saying, I plan to internalize them. And to hell with the pauses complaint. Let there be pauses, if I feel like there should be pauses. This is one of the best parts of the entire play, and I am going to give the audience every last drop of resonance from it.
So that was a problem. And then when Avraham cut my line off, I continued saying the line instead of running with it.
It's a very controlled line.
Avraham does not exist, to mess up that line. And the second half of that line does not exist, if it is interrupted. I'm going to flow with whatever happens, and find a way to make it a great performance instead of beating up both myself and the other actors if I miss some little detail we planned. The details don't matter. The broad strokes of the character gradually learning to enjoy life despite himself, that matters.
That's not what's happening in the play.
It's happening deep down.
Again, are we sure we want this guy controlling the day? I think I could do a competent job.
We don't want competent. Today was competent. It sucked.
Thank you.
It was good enough.
Thinker, do I have permission to kick Worker out of here?
No. But Worker, please keep your opinions to yourself.
Then there was the debacle with Shai.
Should we end the line there, or just keep talking endlessly until he deigns to cut us off?
What a ridiculous question. Shai, you see, does not exist.
Of course he doesn't.
No. Him not knowing his cue is not a problem in this show. If the line is not interrupted, it continued and ends: "anything like this nonsense. I mean, for heaven's sake, an eighteen year old girl. There should be laws against being like that, with such an innocent thing..." - ooh, you're right - it is fun to ad-lib! I'll have to do that.
That's just showing off. It could backfire.
It's me having fun.
A good idea. Anything that will make this fun is a good idea.
So yes, I'll give him a moment's pause at the end of the sentence but then I'm continuing and I'm never going to stop. An hour later, they'll still be watching me ad-lib, having the time of my life.
So you're not angry at Shai.
Furious. That'll be the fun of it.
This does not sound healthy.
Oh fine, I won't adlib anymore. It is awfully risky. And also unnecessary.
Come to think of it, it could also spark retalitation, where Shai just cuts me off at the beginning of my line.
Fine, I've already agreed I'm not doing that again.
Then there's the end of the scene, where I entered a bit too late. So just keep that in mind, while I'm running around.
The running was a bit lackluster, too. It doesn't matter if anyone's watching, I need to go back in out of breath.
After the intermission it was a bit of a mess - Zusha had read my blog post, and was so careful to get in the wonderful line "Distribute the macaroons, that all may share this exalted day!" -which did get one laugh, actually- that he threw off a bunch of other people... come to think of it, I don't know what that was all about. Was it him that forgot a line, or someone else messing up cues, or what? But I was fine there. Which begs the question, where did I go wrong?
Ah, yes.
Straightening.
It's so controlled, and all the real emotion which had been there was lost. It needs to be more real, while also being spoken to the audience.
That'll be tricky, but I'll work at it.
And if that line doesn't work, for whatever reason, I'll get right back into it with the line to Joel. Why didn't I do that today?
What went wrong?
Timing.
Yes, you're exactly right. Timing. That's it precisely. I've been afraid of giving that line too slowly. I'm going to take my time, it's a meaty line. That was the problem. And it was all downhill from there, because the emotion that was supposed to be underneath all the rest of the play was missing.
Do we really need to go through this entire thing? It would probably be better to let the Addict start a day, or even better to go to sleep early and start promptly tomorrow.
Let me just keep going for a bit.
The bit with Zusha was fine, the rest of the scene was okay, though I don't know about the ending position and the smile should not be brought back there.
But it's like a leitmotif, throughout the show!
I'm pretty sure you're misusing that word.
What, leitmotif?
Never mind.
I didn't get upset enough at Lulu.
I should have been really upset with her for not letting go of her silly little idea. Instead I forced the energy without the emotion, and the result was some annoying shrieking. Ouch.
Then the little face-off with the Cabalist was a little bit off, but really I think the rest of the play was okay, for my part. Get Act I right, and the rest will follow.
"Paddy Chayefsky wrote a wonderful play. People are paying good money to see that play. And I have the capability and determination to deliver as much of the brilliance of the play as I can manage. The other actors do not exist. The directors do not exist. All there is is Arthur Brooks and the audience, and they will enjoy the show."This is what happened. I totally ignored Rafi's instruction of speaking toward the audience. I cut off other actors when I needed to, I covered for them totally messing up Act I, I rearranged all my staging around whatever nonsense they were doing. Arthur Brooks was Arthur Brooks, minus a few tiny nuances which weren't critical, and the audience enjoyed the show.
My personal goal in December was to be a more benevolent sort of organizer, not being too harsh about failures and trying to understand my companions better. It is not my place to say whether or not I was successful. What is clear from the performance reviews is that self-improvement was achieved in small measures, and that this self-improvement -like most self-improvement- was slow and gradual. Comparing the first few days of the month which dragged on pointlessly with the last days of the month which had a lot of energy and enthusiasm, it is clear that there has been a noticeable change. And though I said it was a gradual process, and this is true, we can also see one particular event in the middle of the month which turned things around. I am speaking, of course, of the conference room program, which we will be writing this self-meeting in for the first time today. The ability to speak to each other is key to having a successful relationship with each other. Without the ability for casual conversation, the Rules are abstract to the point of being academic for all except myself and possibly a few others. If we can actually talk to each other, as we would talk to other people via the internet, suddenly our characters and situations require significantly less suspension of disbelief to engage with. If there was one mistake I made this month, it was not prioritizing the conference room above all else -even Gamer Mom, which is by far the most important thing we're doing in the bigger picture. The conference room, in focusing our personalities and decision-making processes, allows us to achieve all the other things on the agenda. From the plan, there were two elements we did not get around to: creating marketable music and building a blog post to house debates between us. The other half of the plan -Gamer Mom and the play- were reasonably well-represented. If we had started the month with the conference room, I believe we would have dealt with all the bullet points on that list.
Not on the list, but also on display in the time allocation tables: The Legend of Zelda: Spirit Tracks, which reversed the trends we criticized in the "Living in Hyrule" chapters (which we ought to get back to), the social protest and its continuing debate, and some confusion regarding the Person's place in the group, which was addressed in the last blog post(s).
I didn't get a single day.
That's true. But it's not like we haven't been playing piano.
We haven't exactly been pursuing it.
I would like to point out that this conference room program is incomplete. I raised some issues, and they have not been addressed. In addition, we have not implemented several simple but important features from the design document.
This will all be dealt with next month.
No, it won't.
There is absolutely no time, with everything we've got planned. There's a March 5th deadline for Gamer Mom, which means at least a week of being addicted to that. And the play The Tenth Man opens on the 19th, so we should have a weeklong addict for that as well.
We don't necessarily need to have a full week for each. In general, I'm hoping to have shorter days in January.
That might not happen. I don't like ending a day before I'm done.
If you're not done, but you've fulfilled your obligation to work on the challenge for three hours, end your day and come talk to me. I may give you another day right away to finish up what you're doing, or I may decide that something else is more urgent but you'll get another day immediately after that. I'm not looking to leave everyone with unfinished business.
That is a sensible recommendation.
I'd like to point out that through no intent on our parts, the month was fairly symmetrical. It's like the seventh 74.
"The first day is frustrating, yes, but the seventh is satisfying."
I was speaking more to the convenient coincidences behind that post, but yes.
I have no idea what you're talking about.
What the Explorer is saying is that when you put in an effort, it ends up more beautiful than you intended due to God's presence. It's a religious statement.
I wish you'd stop speaking in riddles.
I just explained what we were talking about.
You shouldn't need to explain anything. If there's something that's so obscure it needs to be explained, it probably shouldn't be brought up in the first place.
Bl'bah.
Whatever.
Rule proposals
Summary
Okay, let's get down to the nitty-gritty. I'd like to propose a new rule for the Worker. He shouldn't be able to watch TV or read comics if it's not in the schedule. We've had too many occasions where there's a free minute somewhere, a TV show sneaks in and there goes the rest of the day.
"When adjusting the time allocated to passive entertainments in a previously-declared schedule, the starting time can be made later (but not past the declared end time), and the ending time can be made earlier (but not before the declared start time). However, no passive activities may be added to a previously-declared schedule in time which had not already been allocated for the purpose."
I'm not sure I even understand what that means.
Don't move lengthen or add time for comics or TV. If you want those activities, you're going to have to allocate them.
Oh, also: "The first activity of the day may not be a passive activity."
I have no objection to these rules.
Excellent.
And I'm glad you brought up first activities, because I'd like to change the idea there. I think what we've been doing is clumsy. There is no reason to declare a first activity both on its own and in the time allocation table. But I do like the idea of starting the day on the right foot. So let's separate the first activity from the time allocation table.
The question, then, is how that fits in with the strict list of what may be done outside of a day.
It's not outside a day, it's just a part of the day that's not in the time allocation table.
Though, since you bring up the permissible activities outside of a day: we need to add conversation as an acceptable unrecorded activity. That way the conference room becomes a safe place, where we're not worried about going over the mundane activities quote but we can take as long as we need to get our heads on straight.
It's a fine idea, but entirely separate from the matter of unrecorded first activities. I will need to consult The Rules.
Okay. This isn't complicated, but it requires some editing of the "Activities" section. I will do that now.
Done.
Could you also write up the other rules we discussed?
Of course.
Done.
Okay. Are there any other proposals?
I propose you let me have a day.
Any other rule proposals?
No?
We will move on, then.
Plans for January
Rule proposals
Let's figure out what we're doing in January.
Well, it's obvious, isn't it? We've got the play. That is set in stone. And we've got Gamer Mom, which is also set in stone. That doesn't leave a lot of time.
How much time would you estimate we'll need on Gamer Mom?
200 hours, I'd say. 200 hours by March 5th.
That should be 100 hours in January, and 100 hours in February.
That seems sensible.
No, that seems ludicrous. This is the time to be dealing only with the play. How is it that two weeks before opening night, so many of the nuances of the character are just idle thoughts, and not actually represented in the performance? We have two very different ideas here: the man who is completely broken and fools the world into thinking he is okay, and the everyman who stumbles into a scene of weirdos and provides someone for the audience to relate to. The first is my take, the second is the director's. I need to find a middle ground, so that we can both be happy and have a play better than either one of us sees it. This takes a tremendous amount of time. This is the time to be committing all available hours to the play.
The play must not come at the expense of the game.
The play is just a hobby; games are our life.
Speak for yourself. I really believe The Tenth Man can be something special.
Of course. I wouldn't claim otherwise.
There really isn't much time.
13.5 hours in a day, 23 days left to January. That's a total of 310 hours we have to work with if we waste no time at all in an entire month. Which honestly, is impossible.
100 hours on Gamer Mom. And a bare minimum of 104 hours on The Tenth Man, if you do the math. That's assuming we spend no time on it at all at home, but just go to the rehearsals and performances and call the job done. So that leaves 106 hours left in the month. I can understand spending 30 more hours on the play. Maybe 40. But if we leave ourselves only 50 hours of recreation and unanticipated activities over the course of an entire month, we are going to go insane.
Insanity would work well for my performance of Arthur Brooks.
Tempting, but it would mess us up in the future months. Plus, it would harm the Gamer Mom work. So no.
Addict, would 35 hours be enough?
Three days' worth? Heck no.
Look, those are the numbers. So either we push some of the Gamer Mom work to February, which seems like a bad idea, or we don't go on stage with the absolute ideal performance we can possibly have.
That is unacceptable. Over the last two shows, I have acquired a reputation for daring performances. If I give a performance in The Tenth Man which is underachieving, I lose that.
I really think I can get audiences to like this unlikable person. I think I can have people rooting for the impossible romance he finds himself in, even though it makes no logical sense. Or maybe because it makes no logical sense. I can create a character who seems like he came from an entirely different world than these old men, a world which is more sensible and yet empty.
You'll have to do that in 30 hours.
Let's not jump to conclusions. We're talking about options.
What if it turns out that Gamer Mom is actually more work than the Worker anticipates? Kyler starts another project on March 5th, it never gets done, and everything gets derailed for years.
Nothing is getting derailed. Calm down, everyone. We can figure this out.
I feel that I am owed.
Then you will be sorely disappointed. January is not your month.
I have yet to have "my month". The implicit policy from the old blog of treating music as an addiction akin to TV is still in full effect.
There is simply no time, Musician. I have no days to offer you.
I am going to lower your score each and every time you have a day, Thinker.
Fine! I don't expect I'll have any days this month, either. We can only have people who will make progress on our practical goals. That leaves just the Addict, the Worker and the Person.
What? How did I get into the list of productive people?
These two activities have social implications. That means you're part of the discussion here. Musician, you are not. Go away.
You may regret this.
We did promise to work on the website for our shul. How is this not also "set in stone", as the Worker put it?
There's no deadline.
Then we should set a deadline, no?
Fine! The end of February. That's the deadline.
In the meantime, you can be helpful by figuring out how to resolve the two visions of Arthur Brooks.
I think I can handle that, thanks.
I think the Programmer's challenge-oriented approach might work better, sometimes.
I'd be willing to give it a shot. It does sound like an interesting problem.
Fantastic! Then we have four characters, who will be the only ones in January.
A little piece of ourself died as you typed those words.
None of this is actually addressing the problem.
Yes, it is. With the other four characters out of the discussion, we now have a greater chance that whatever we decide here will not be strayed from, which means we're using every last bit of time available for the task at hand.
We could make up a new character who can handle Gamer Mom and The Tenth Man. It worked in December 2010.
That's an interesting idea. Who would you be thinking of?
Someone very interested in drama, and in the potential of little moments. Someone with an eye for the visual and the emotional. Actually, forget the new character. I volunteer to run the entire month.
You'd watch movies and act random. We need someone reliable.
So let's make a new character, who's exactly like me but reliable?
That doesn't even make sense. Your whole nature is as an agent of chaos.
I prefer to think of myself as... no, actually, that's good. Agent of chaos. I want to be an agent of chaos.
Excellent. Then you have no place in this conversation; come back in February. And we're not making a new character, because we don't have the time to tweak and test him. We're working with who we've got.
Suit yourself.
Okay. Four characters: Addict, Worker, Person, Programmer. But mainly the Addict and the Worker. The Person and the Programmer are just to keep the month from getting stale, really.
Gee, thanks. It's so nice to feel wanted.
Think of yourselves as understudies.
It does make sense to have understudies.
But mainly we're relying on the Addict and the Worker. The Addict is only allowed to return after two days of other characters, so the Addict's days should be as long as possible and the Worker's days should be as short as possible.
I don't understand.
That way we can squeeze two Workers in between Addicts, and have flexibility about which activity each Addict is pursuing. But "as long as possible" is going overboard. I'm afraid that after reaching an average of over 7/10 for the month, which is quite necessary in January's case, the Addict will simply take the rest of the month without needing to worry about quality.
Fine. Not as long as possible. But on the long side. We'll keep in conversation during the day, and see when it's best to end.
We're still not addressing the problem. It's simple math. There are not enough hours.
We could sleep less.
No, we could not. I know what you're like without eight and a half hours of sleep. I'm not interested in going there.
You know, most people don't sleep so much.
Maybe they don't put as much energy into each day as we need here.
Or maybe they do, and we've just gotten too used to having this much sleep.
It doesn't matter if you're right. We can't risk it when so much is on the line.
Fatigue would become Arthur Brooks.
No.
Please stop dancing 'round the issue.
Let's figure on 85 hours of Gamer Mom.
Oh, damn. I messed up my calculation. I forgot the last day is a self-meeting.
Right.
Oh, and also I wasn't accounting for mundane activities.
For God's sake!
I think whatever we decide on, by the way, should leave in time for TV and comics.
And we can't neglect the blog for another month. We just can't.
People! We do not have an infinite amount of time!
This is why we are looking to you to decide how the time will be spent.
Now, let's do the calculations properly.
Let's figure that we have an average of ten hours per day (not game-day, but "day" in the conventional sense) that's not claimed by sleeping, eating, other mundanity, brief lapses into addiction and unexpected events.
That seems high. What if some social opportunity comes along?
Let's say an average of nine hours per day that we can actually plan for. We have 23 days, not 22, and the self-meeting will be the first of February. So we have 207 hours to work with.
That is nothing.
Now you're catching on. If it's a hundred hours on The Tenth Man just with the transportation times and not even adding in all the extra work of trying to do a good job, then 100 hours of Gamer Mom is a fantasy.
I don't want to leave it all for February.
We don't need comics and TV.
Sherlock is awesome. I would like to watch it.
And that's not an option. We're forgetting about the transportation. During that time, we'll be playing games on the Nintendo DS. That will serve as the entertainment this month. No comics, no TV, no music, minimal internet use. The purpose they serve is not needed when we've got another kind of entertainment available.
There still aren't enough hours.
Gamer Mom has to go.
No.
Gamer Mom stays.
You're making this very difficult. This plan is absurd. We cannot give equal attention to the game and the play. We simply cannot, and no amount of stubbornness will change the fact.
I'd like to sleep on it. We'll meet again in the morning, and conclude this meeting so that the Addict can get started with Gamer Mom.
Good night.
Good morning.
Have you come to a decision?
Good morning.
I have not quite decided yet.
Let's put all our energy into the play, like the Explorer suggested. December 2010 showed results.
It showed results because there were no distractions at all. Nothing but the play. That is not an option in this case. Gamer Mom is a higher priority than the play. If I were convinced that we could not do both to the expected level of quality, I would say that the play should suffer for it. Thankfully, I am not convinced of this.
Now, let's rethink our calculations one last time. December 2011 started late. January 2012 is also starting late. It's not the end of the world if we decide right now that February 2012 will be starting late as well.
This doesn't match up with how the rest of the world calculates time.
Nor does our use of the word "day", but that's not hurting anyone.
We really shouldn't be calling those "days".
I know it's shocking that I of all people would suggest such a thing, but this is not the time to discuss semantics. There is a precedent for lengthening months when the work is not done. It will not be possible to do a hundred hours of Gamer Mom by February 1st, for all the reasons brought up and others. But doing it by February 5th is quite a different matter.
If that's the case, then we can stop at February 1st and simply do less this month.
Yes, I suppose we could do that. That way we get a coherent story of February as a focus on Gamer Mom.
Actually, yes, that does work much better. Thank you.
Here, then, is the plan. We will not worry about the number of hours as we go.
We really should.
We will instead worry about maintaining balance between the play and the game. They are equally important in this month, and to neglect either is inconceivable. So if we feel that we've been spending more time on the play than the game, we shift our focus to the game. And vice versa. On the subject of vice, I will allow comics and TV for the simple reason that if I ban it, there will be a flood of wasted time just as we're starting the critical month of February.
Thank you.
Of course, these activities are only allowed for the Worker, and the new restriction which the Worker has kindly agreed to means that all such time needs to be scheduled so that it does not get out of control. I will expect every schedule to be run past me before it is declared. I will be generous in the first half of the month. Possibly less so as we get to crunch time.
You're talking about just twenty or thirty hours of private work on the play, if we follow that strategy.
I will not deny that the time on the play will be limited, especially since we do have other concerns: the health of the blog, adding the final touches to the conference room which should have been in last month.
We do not have time for the blog.
We will find time for the blog.
Nothing fancy, no interactive posts or really ambitious ideas. But at least we can write about Fear Itself, about Ocarina of Time, and about adventure games.
That's an extra forty hours tacked on, easily.
And what of the changes to the way we run the blog? Shouldn't those be done as soon as possible?
Absolutely not. That will be February, or maybe even March. For now we coast on what we've got.
I don't like it.
Noted.
What about the shul website? We did promise.
Again, not this month.
It's bad form to promise to do something and then not get around to it.
I am aware of that.
Basically, what is going to keep us focused on Gamer Mom and The Tenth Man is not any policies I set, but simply the influence of the Addict and the Person.
The Person is not known for getting things done.
He will be now.
You can't simply make up new personalities to suit a single month.
It fits with where the Person has been. These are important social obligations, as I have previously pointed out.
And what if he decides to spend an entire day just hanging out instead of working?
Person, please do not spend too much time with other people (other than Kyler and the Tenth Man cast) during January.
I can't guarantee that they'll be enough.
This is why you have Shabbat.
Okay. What of game night? Can I try to catch the tail end, as we did this past week?
Yes, okay.
You are imagining that there is more time than there truly is.
End your days quickly, except for the Addict. Don't sleep for longer than 8 hours. And never mind the numbers. This is going to be a fun month, for all of you.
That's it, then? "Balance"? That's your plan?
Yes. We'll see how it goes.
Have fun.
I'm not sure what I should be doing now.
I guess I could end the day, but I feel like there's something I'm forgetting to do.
You were going to write to the blog.
Yes, I was.
People are actually reading the blog, which is really odd.
And it's a problem, because there's nothing new there.
But I don't remember what it was I wanted to write.
Well, look at what's going on right now. You're basically-
"Cheating on the Human Race", that was it.
Yes, that was one idea for a title.
Was that the social game?
Yes. The idea is that you're trying to figure out how to approach normal people, when you've essentially replaced them with yourself.
Yes. Is there a way I can word this, so that it won't have a creepy sexual undercurrent?
No. Embrace the sexual undercurrent.
[shudder]
:)
"cheating" is the right word. It creates a sense that what we're doing is taboo.
It sounds like bestiality.
Nonsense.
Well, it does.
The title gives the wrong idea.
No better title is popping into mind. We can think about it.
But no implications of bestiality.
Fine.
Are you sure you want to write this post yourself? It takes a long time to write an interactive post.
Well, it's best if I do it. But honestly... no. I'm not sure this is what I want to do with the rest of the day.
I have the sense that there was something else, some simpler post I had in mind.
Maybe you should have written it down.
Sure, but I didn't.
You know, I really like "Cheating on the Human Race". It's catchy, it's provocative.
No bestiality!
Fine, fine.
This is yet another reason why I should write it myself.
So do that.
Maybe I will.
Look, this is obviously a turning point for you.
Guh. Don't remind me.
It was a lot easier to just ignore you guys.
What's changed?
I don't know. All I know is that when I tell people about this program, they don't react like I thought they would.
What is it you thought they'd think?
I don't know, that this is a bit of strangeness that intrigues them. Or something. I don't know.
What difference does it make if other people are interested? Is our entire life just an amusement for other people?
Well, yes.
I mean, don't get me wrong, it would be great to actually do things. I'm all for working on Gamer Mom, for instance. That can get me actual respect. But while I'm not being respected, sure, I'll settle for amusement.
Interesting.
Oh, go on, say it. You think that's pathetic.
No, actually I'm not sure how I feel about it. I guess I just never considered the idea of creating amusement being such a goal of being strange. But maybe that's all it is.
Of course you're trying to amuse people. What's the whole blog?
It's a story I'm telling my future self.
Sure.
Then why is it on the internet?
The public nature of a blog gives the story legitimacy in my eyes. But the intended audience is not the public. It never has been.
"Legitimacy"?
Yes. It says that this is not a story I'm ashamed in. And that creates expectations about how this story is going to be ending, i.e. there will be a point to all of it.
Most blogs on the internet don't have a point.
Their writers are treating them as tools of communication. I Am Not... is a story.
And the purpose of a story is to entertain, no?
Point taken.
I suppose strangeness is about eliciting reactions, in a way- by seeing something that you don't expect, it expands your worldview a little. [The Trip: Diversity (and lack thereof)]
Citations, now. What the hell have I gotten myself into.
There's something inherently idealistic about nonconformity.
See, that I don't buy. I could be okay with conformity.
Really?
Sure, why not?
All that work, to end up as someone who'll always be second-best next to the natural normals.
No one's naturally normal. You learn it as you go along.
True enough.
But better to aim higher, no?
I don't know. I really don't.
Then why are you here? Why did you vote to keep this game going?
I don't know.
I was really surprised, I've got to be honest. I thought you weren't interested in any of us, because we're not "real" people or whatever.
You're not.
And yet...?
And yet nothing. You're not.
I don't get it.
You know, when I tell people what I'm up to and they practically back away because they don't know what to make of me, I should want to throw away everything that's causing that. I should want to reassure them that it's not so weird really. It really is very awkward to tell anyone about this. I mean, I can't quite claim to have multiple personalities because that implies a lack of control. And this is all so rigidly controlled.
All multiple personalities might be something like this. [Semantics, Part 3]
You can't actually believe that.
There are some things about this text entry which need to be fixed. First, only the part of the line which is visible should be drawn. Drawing so much offscreen is slowing the program down. So we'll need to figure out which part of the line actually needs to be drawn. Actually, that should be very straightforward. Second, when switching characters textX should immediately be set to textGoalX without the scrolling. There's no sense in thinking the caret is in the same place for two characters. A separate problem is that when a new character is brought in while another character hasn't finished typing, the program thinks the text is for the new character. That's just a simple oversight.
It makes sense. If it were an act, in the same way that any persona is a controlled act, I think multiple personalities might look exactly as they do. Which is not proof of anything, but it means that this isn't an outrageous idea. Regardless, what we're doing is in some ways unique.
There are plenty of people who talk to themselves on the internet. We didn't invent the idea.
Most people don't take it this far.
This is true.
Most people are content with a little bit of quirkiness. This here is full-fledged uberquirk.
The word "quirk" doesn't even belong here. I think the word you're looking for is "insanity".
Or possibly "disorder".
Ugh. Don't even joke. This is all a conscious decision, we don't need to make a new category just to make people feel better about being quote-unquote "normal". This is a choice.
The program is slowing down. We've never had a BlitzMax program run for such a sustained time, and maybe this just happens. Or maybe I need a new graphics card. Or more RAM.
We'll manage.
I was saying that it's awkward to tell people about this "game", or whatever you want to call it.
And I'm really embarrassed when they react like that, but somehow it feels right, you know?
I don't know what it is that you would consider "right" about this situation. Like I said earlier, I didn't expect you to be onboard.
It's just, like, maybe this is who I can be. I can be that weird guy.
That doesn't sound dignified.
But maybe it's enough.
Maybe it's enough if I'm really, really, really weird.
We are that.
You know, there is a goal in all this.
We're not just being weird for weird's sake, I think we can actually accomplish great things like this.
Maybe. Maybe not. For now, all there is is the scared look on people's faces when they hear.
And there's this conversation.
Yes! And there's this conversation. And y'know, one on one you're not so bad. In the whole group it was like this really aggressive "Fictional Character Pride Parade", and I just wanted to run away. But in the moment to moment of this thing, it's really not so bad.
I don't understand you. Having pride in this system is going to alienate you from other people. That's obvious. You can't say "I spent two hours talking to myself yesterday.", and expect the person to still see you as someone they can relate to.
So, what? I should hide my face?
At very least, you shouldn't go around announcing the most extreme examples of your strangeness to the world. You're out leading the parade, and it just doesn't add up in my head.
I can't tell whether this is a lapse in your characterization, or if you're lying, or what.
Don't insult me. I know who I am.
Then explain it to me, because I don't know who you are. I... I ought to know who you are, but I have no clue. Give me something to work with.
"I spent hours talking to myself today." There you go.
:D
I don't get you at all.
Well, it's the first date.
I guess it is.
Do you have any idea what you're going to be doing next?
Not a clue.
Figures.
If I might interrupt...
By all means.
The Rules let you switch to any one character. Switch to me. I'll start by working on Gamer Mom from 21:20 to... say, 23:00. Then we'll write out the post together until 1:00. I have no hesitation about working on things like this, and you are the one who actually wants to write it. Let's work together, and see what happens.
We can split the post into two sections, so that you have this big open dialogue between Person and Thinker on the one hand and then a "normal" conversation on the other with a normal person.
Working this conversation into the post, to give a frame of reference. I love it.
Do any of you have an idea for a better title than "Cheating on the Human Race"?
That's a good title.
How about "Humankind, I can explain..."?
That's not bad.
It's a bit informal, no?
No, that's fantastic. We can have two titles for two connected posts. One formal and comfortable, the other informal and awkward. It's perfect.
You mean that the other title would be the filename.
Exactly.
It's already 21:21. We should move this along. And then at 1:00 I can watch Doctor Who-
Ha! An ulterior motive!
Always.
Okay, let's get going then. Don't want to keep the Doctor waiting...
Good luck.
I was thinking about scheduled gamer mom work time as well.
Doesn't the conference room slow down your thought process? I mean you can think a lot faster than you can type, so in order to have a proper conversation you need to slow down your thoughts.
It does slow down my thought process, but it also focuses it. It's an acceptable trade-off.
Can you provide an easy to find legend for all of the characters' colours on your blog. I can never remember who is who.
"Bah, therapists. They don't know you like you do. Think about it."
Hilarious line
Thank you. And thanks for suggesting a reference. I'm going to include one whenever it's called for from now on.
hey! ya it's zusha the dude from the play ;) can i ask a new comers question..?
when you write in this program, then the program is the one that responds to you or is it you breaking up your thoughts into many characteristics?
Hello, Zusha. I'm not entirely sure I understand your question. It's just a chat room where I talk to myself. If you're asking how I think of these personalities -myself vs. others or different versions of myself - it's more like I'm splitting my opinions. We all can see things from lots of different angles, but we limit ourselves to one way of looking at things because that's the persona we've chosen. By switching back and forth between personas, I'm not dismissing the ideas that occur to me but engaging with them and seeing where they lead.
Well? Say something. Let's see what new string of nonsense will come tumbling out of your mouth as justification for choosing this over letting me have a decent life.
I'm not sure I want to hear this. I think it might just make me sick.
The problem was the Panic Mode rule. It's as simple as that. I recognized last month that it was not having the appropriate effect, and we tried it for another month but it was still a bad rule.
I had a decent month.
Look, it's just... god.
Yeah? Let's hear it.
The problem was me.
You don't say.
Please. This isn't easy for me. Why do you think I've put off this post for almost a week?
Because your entire game has collapsed, inevitably.
A vote.
What?
I would like to put it to a vote. The whole system. We will vote on whether or not to continue playing as these eight characters. The alternative is to go back to where we were in the performance reviews a year ago, and find a different way forward. A less radical way, perhaps. This is all my idea, to treat life as though we have multiple personalities, and I am failing to make it work. That becomes more apparent from month to month. So we will vote. Of course the Rules will change drastically if we choose to continue, because there must never again be a month like November 2011. We spent more time out of character than in. We watched TV for days on end, without even acknowledging the problem save for late-night bouts of crippling depression. The Panic Mode rule would go, replaced with rules that give positive reinforcement rather than punishment. Some more rules would be added to my character page as well, because my self-centeredness is the reason we are in this mess. In retrospect, asking the rest of you to come up with your own plans for the month and stick to them was an admission of defeat on my part. I didn't understand or care about any of you enough to be the proper leader you need, who you can trust and feel comfortable with. I tried turning the Musician, who is frankly a genius, into a simple productivity tool, and when he was not the character I wanted him to be I was angry. I did not allow for failure, which is a terrible attitude. Even in failure, I need to be accepting. Only then can there be a healthy group here. I came to these conclusions in talking to our mother and to Moshe, and it is my hope that if we finish the conference room program quickly we can talk to each other in ways which lead to such understandings. This sense of isolation that you all had, and the fear of stepping up to the plate that ultimately brought down the entire system, all of that is on me and I would need to change that about myself. But first we need to put the system to a vote because we never have voted on the system itself. We just moved forward, with me assuming that we'd all be on the same page. But that kind of team can only come through honest and constant communication. We start today, with this vote. If we vote to stop, we stop. I'm not going to be a dictator. Now then: Do we continue with The Rules?
Everyone will need to vote, even the Addict.
I vote no.
He speaks!
I'm not interested in music, or games, or acting. I want to watch TV. It takes minimal effort, but lets you believe -for however long you're watching- that there's a whole world that continues from episode to episode and is still there even when you turn the show off. Even the most lightweight shows can give a sense of comfort that actual life takes years to reach, and when we're talking about the really great shows of today (and today's television has a lot of bright spots) there's also much to think about, and discuss, and write about. I could fill twenty posts just with thoughts from the TV show Homeland. And don't get me started on the strained relationships of The Amazing Race- there's truly fascinating drama ther. For instance, back in season six-
Please don't ever speak again.
Whatever. My vote is no.
What we are doing is unnatural. We need to be open to all opportunities at all times. By deciding at the beginning of the day what sort of day we should have, we are guaranteeing that much of the day's potential will be completely ignored.
If you're referring to the restriction on piano, I imagine we'd be taking that out as it was part of the Panic Mode rule. I still wouldn't be playing any music because it just doesn't interest me, but anyone else could come up with themes and count that as "mundane activities".
And be penalized for it. No thank you.
Only if mundane activities exceed one quarter of the day, which is a generous allowance. Any more than that and music can become a dangerous distraction.
I was a more prolific musician, once.
What if I made an exception in my own rules for music?
Programmer, that will be entirely unnecessary. The Musician has made his feelings clear, and we're going to accept them.
Well, I don't give up just because things haven't gone my way immediately. This is a very interesting project we're engaged in, and I think with continuous tweaking it can work. We had one bad rule which wasn't discarded quickly enough, and we'll need to be willing to make drastic changes during the month to deal with things like that. But let's not hrow out the baby with the bathwater, eh?
Is that a vote for the Rules?
Yes, it is. I vote to continue.
Explain to me what it is that I can possibly get out of pretending to have dissociative identity disorder.
Certainly. I mean, it's not truly split personalities, but that's neither here nor there so I'll just tell you what the benefit is. During the course of whatever you work on, occasionally you reach problems you don't know how to deal with. Correct?
Yes. That's when I ask other people.
Instead of other people, you can ask us.
It's a poor substitute.
Hello, Person.
Other people will actually know the answers. You guys only pretend to.
Exactly.
Everyone just pretends to have the answers.
Spare me the philosophizing.
Please, let me think for a few minutes.
It seems like this is all just crazy for crazy's sake.
It's not. There's logic to it. Just give me a minute to find it. Honestly, I was expecting you to just vote "no" offhand, so I didn't think about this from your perspective. But if we continue I'll need to be taking everyone's perspective into account on a regular basis.
Well, you know exactly what my perspective is. I want to work, I want to be happy, I have no use for stories and silliness. Sell me on this. What do I get out of being one of eight?
You get a team backing you up. Everything you need, everything you can't get by yourself, we're here for you.
So if I say that I want to be making money, on a regular basis? What if I point out that that is a universal necessity in this world? What will you do to get money?
I don't know. It's a tough question.
It's not tough at all. It's called a regular job. If I tell you that I need a regular job, with regular hours and a steady paycheck, what do you say?
I say okay.
What?!
Really.
Really. I can't get out of the common sense that we do need to be making money somehow.
Thinker, what are you doing?
I'm trying to not ignore a position that makes perfect sense in favor of holding onto the status quo.
It's funny you put it that way, because I think holding on to the status quo is exactly what you're after here. You see you might lose the Worker, so you're making unrealistic promises to keep him in your good graces.
Making money is unrealistic?! What planet do you live on?
Programmer, this isn't about "losing" anyone. It's either all of us or none of us, but the Worker raises a good point.
I can't believe I'm hearing this. You know that a 9 to 5 job is unfeasible while we're following the Rules!
Then we need to find a way to make it fit!
I am not going to restrict my activities to the end of a day, when I have no energy left!
A rigid schedule takes out all control over what we accomplish in life. You must see that.
I do. But we can't keep leeching off of others forever. We've been saying as much for months.
Yes, we need money. But within this system we're building!
And how is that supposed to happen, when apparently making money doesn't fit in your system?
We can talk about this later, my point is that I am open to all possibilities.
We won't have many possibilities if the Worker gets his way.
It's odd, don't you think, that I'm expected to work for all of you and be what basically amounts to your slave while even the tiniest thing I say is ignored and I'm made out to be the enemy. To hell with all of you.
If this is the sort of organization that we're going to have from now on, then I won't be a part of it. I change my vote to no.
Same here. I'm not going to be stifled under a suit.
Calm down, please. Everyone calm down.
No, I will not calm down. There needs to be logic underneath what we are doing. We can't just be throwing in ideas and seeing what happens, or we get to situations like Panic Mode.
That was your idea!
Yes, and after seeing how it worked in practice I said that we should get rid of it because it wasn't working.
So let's get a job, see how it goes!
You can't back out of that so easily. We could be losing months.
You mean we could be making money for months. Or do you want to be living in someone else's house your whole life?
Please calm down.
I'm not going to just fill in the cracks in the Worker's life. No way. I'll be voting no.
Calm down! I would like to talk!
No, this is great. If everyone backs out, it means I win. Well, the Addict and I.
Musician, you are not helping. Now this is all really a misunderstanding, so if everyone would please calm down long enough for me to explain, that would be terrific.
I'm listening.
I did not mean to say that we'd just get a job and damn the consequences.
And there it is.
The Worker wants a way to make money on a steady basis. We can help him get that.
That is not what you said.
Then forget what I said! It was poorly stated.
You were perfectly clear:
If I tell you that I need a regular job, with regular hours and a steady paycheck, what do you say?I say okay.
Not much ambiguity.
Okay! I get it! I suck! Fine! I am trying my best here, same as any of you.
Their best? Did you see the performance reviews?
I wrote the damned performance reviews!
I don't know if you can be in charge if you lose your temper like this.
You're right. You're all right, I need to try harder.
So when the dust settles, you're back to completely ignoring me again. What a surprise.
I'm not ignoring you. We need money. But we're not going to work for someone else.
Then how will we get money, pray tell?
Music.
No! What the hell is wrong with you, that you go back on every single-
Let me finish. Worker, you will deal with musical arrangements. I thought I could get the Musician to do that, but his heart isn't in it. But surely you recognize that some of the Musician's themes are marketable.
I do recognize that.
Then the two of you will work together. He comes up with ideas, you work on them until they're ready to sell. There's your steady money.
And why is this better than a desk job?
You're not getting a desk job, as everyone has just made perfectly clear. I'm sorry about that.
Sure you are.
I want you to be happy, and not just because we're ostensibly in the middle of a vote. But you need to understand that without the multiple character system you're not going to have more control. You're going to have much less, because you won't have a voice. If Mory Buckman is one character, rather than eight, then that is not a character who will be satisfied with a desk job.
He can still work on music, the same as I can.
You are reliable in a way that we never were before splitting into different characters last year.
What about the old Thursdays?
In which we looked for ways out of having to work, and then begrudgingly got some token work done before rushing back to addictions? That was the prototype. You are the real deal, and we'll be lost without having you on some days.
Okay, fine, there's no need to flatter me. I vote yes.
For the record, if you had given me some time to think about my answer instead of bombarding me with questions, I could have told you why this is better for you an hour ago.
I'm agreeing, I'm agreeing.
Okay. So let's see where we stand after all that. Programmer, what is your vote?
To be clear: we're not going off to get a job that'll eat up all our time?
No. We control the schedule. We're agreeing that we will make money, for now, by having the Musician and the Worker produce music together.
That sounds like a good plan to me. I want to continue with the Rules.
Excellent. Explorer, you said you were voting against The Rules, but that seemed to be a reaction to the idea of a job.
It was. The fact is, I think this game we're playing is one of the coolest things we've ever done. It's exciting.
That's a yes, then.
You'd better believe it. I think we're just getting started here.
I agree. So that's the Addict and the Musician against continuing, and the Explorer, the Worker and the Programmer in favor. I also vote yes, which puts the vote at 4 to 2.
I vote no.
Really?
Why?
Because we don't play games anymore. Games used to be a regular part of our routine.
I don't remember that.
Now there are so many restrictions on who can play what that most of you don't play games at all. And our life is all the poorer for it.
In November 2010, there were 11 hours and 39 minutes of videogames, not counting Wii Fit which is no longer included in time allocation tables. In November 2011 I count 23:54. More than double the specifically allocated videogame time from this time last year, and that's despite all the days we lost. So I think you're remembering games being a bit more central than they actually were. What's changed is, before there were ten minutes of a game here and there. It was spread out. Now it's mainly you, playing for many hours at a time. But the actual time spent playing videogames per month hasn't gone down.
This was an uncharacteristic month. What about last month?
Let's see... I count 19:54. But there were also quite a few hours of playing together with other people, which were not always differentiated from other kinds of socializing. We're not gaming less.
Okay, I stand corrected. I vote yes.
That makes five to two. The only one left is the Person.
I'd like to change my vote to an abstention.
That's surprising.
I'm just thinking that it would be nice to have someone do the annoying work of making music.
And back to making me the slave.
Worker, you know you'll probably enjoy the work.
Harrumph.
Musician, if you want someone to help you, that sounds like a vote for continuing the multiple personality system.
Except that it still means listening to you.
I touched on this earlier, but our relationship is going to be very different from now on. I tried treating you like you only existed to make money, and I profusely apologize for that.
Nothing's changed. You still just want me to make money.
No, that's the Worker's job. You just do what you do, and don't even worry about the score.
Thinker...
Okay, what I mean is that you shouldn't worry about the two points given for quality. If you aren't particularly inspired one day, just end the day early and I'll give you another one soon after. You have nothing to prove to me. The burden of proof is on me, to show you that this system can work to your benefit.
Oh, what the hell. Yes. Let's try this crazy thing.
So again we're left with just the Person. You've been very quiet.
Yes.
What is your vote?
I don't know.
Thoughts?
I've been screwed by you guys before, and I can't say this past month hasn't been a mess. Along with that, my life is kind of awful because I don't spend much time with other people and it seems like your solution is just to force me to spend more time with all of you with this conference room that seems like it's just going to pretend we don't need other people. And we do. We need other people. The Thinker wouldn't even be having these little epiphanies of his about positive reinforcement if not for other people's advice.
But I should have seen that negativity wouldn't work. Our father was always negative in our childhood, and it didn't get us to do things. If we had talked it out, I might have thought of that sooner.
I don't care. Just let me finish. I want to be with other people, and as long as you hold on to this silly idea that all we need is fictional characters to talk to, it'll be harder for me to get to that point. With that said, there is something I like about being able to tell people about this gloriously bizarre life. The sorts of people I like to be around don't see a problem with defying the norms, they find it interesting. And tha tells me there's something to it.
What if I said we could try to meet new people?
Don't bother. I'm not that gullible. But seeing as how I have no ideas of meeting people for myself, I say let's keep going. Also, having so many different kinds of experience in a month means more topics of conversation with people. So, like I say, there's something to it. And I have to be honest, you guys are really good about letting me take over whenever there are other people. So that's yes.
Then the vote is... seven to one. I really didn't picture it going like this.
The Addict only voted against because he's still in TV mode. On a different week, he would have voted differently.
Never mind the Addict. The clear consensus is that we're continuing. Then let's get to work. First, the Rules.
...Done. I'm not going to provide a link, because with one edit going on top of another the Rules have gotten really messy and I'm not sure how to deal with them. Programmer, I'd appreciate it if you could look for a more elegant way to organize the thing.
Okay. But I've got some more important things to deal with first.
You mean the conference room.
Yes.
I think we'll get the Addict to do that. Anyway, I've taken out Panic Mode and eased up some rules here and there on the condition that the average score for the month is above 7/10. Whoops. I forgot to change my own rules.
I'll do that.
No, I've got it. Give me a minute.
Okay, I've changed my rules. None of you will have to worry about the details, but I'm going to be a lot less selfish and hostile from now on.
I'll believe it when I see it.
Yes. We have not much time and much to do, so we will start with the Worker. You ready?
Always.
Then let's get started.
Back to Kyler's comment
I think this was a mostly successful month.
Please tell me you're kidding.
Not at all. It's a redemption storyline, as I told you was an option after the first day. The theme of the month was panic, and how that precipitates a downward spiral into the usual addictions and lack of control. We started out with no control at all, our failures feeding on each other until it seemed like there was little to life but the failure.
You're exaggerating.
I'm dramatizing.
Could you possibly "dramatize" within the confines of what actually happened?
Okay, I'm exaggerating. It wasn't as bad as I make it sound. But certainly we were losing control. The new rule -that if we go under 6/10 for the month, we can't have certain kinds of entertainment-
I'm starting to think that was a bad rule.
It's a wonderful rule!
You came up with that rule!
Yes, but now that I see how it works in practice...
What happened this month won't happen again.
Let's recap what happened and not get too sidetracked. We're in danger of making a post that doesn't stand on its own.
Very true. We started out with little control. I'm sure we all had the feeling that panic mode wasn't going to end, and that we therefore would not get the entertainment we sought, and it followed that there was no harm in entertaining ourselves -prolonging panic mode in the process!
I would like to say, for the record, that I didn't mind. I just do my thing, I don't care about comics or the web.
That is true. You had four days, with an average of 9.25/10! Truly remarkable.
I'm sure you will take that into account when allowing days in this coming month. If the characters with higher scores don't get to play more than the characters with lower scores, then what is the incentive for any of us to do well?
We're getting sidetracked.
But you know I'm right.
Yes! Yes, you will have at least 60 hours in November. You have my word on that.
Where is that time coming from, exactly?
Getting back to my summary, the failures fed on each other but we started taking our days more seriously and got back into the mindset where the average score from the month actually mattered. We worked our way up, and then we fell back down, and then we finally made it past 6/10 and ended with our heads just barely over the water - an average score of 6.11/10. If the last day had gone under 4/10, which it almost did because of a lack of desire to exercise and deal with hygiene, we would have ended still in panic mode and the story would be very different. But we did make it through, by the skin of our teeth, and that's the important thing.
Plans for the month aren't the important thing?
No.
You've never acted like that before.
I can't force anyone to do things they don't want to do. The plan was good, and it would have been great if everyone played along from the start, but it took some time for some of us to get into the mindset where the plan seemed like a good idea, and I respect that. At the end of the day we did accomplish what I wanted us to.
Did not. "whimsy and entertainment will need to (temporarily) take a backseat to efficient productivity." Those are your words. I don't see that.
By the end, we were avoiding comics entirely. That's not as far as I wanted to go, but it took effort and next time we'll go farther. One step at a time.
"Efficient productivity" is my department. I was called on three times. How do you explain that?
You're not the only one who can make progress! We had a sextuple Addict!
Yes, FreeCell is exactly what I think of when I hear "productivity".
You're being petty.
Speaking of "progress", I'd like to either get rid of the rule that says I can't be productive, or take my game-restriction out of the panic mode rules. As it was, I could find absolutely nothing I was allowed to design a day around during panic mode.
It was an oversight. I'll change your rules so you can be productive from now on.
That would take away something that sets the Gamer apart from the group. This world doesn't matter to him as much as virtual worlds. It adds a different perspective to the group, and I don't want to lose that.
If I take him out of the panic mode rules, like I did with the Person, it takes away the motivation for him to get out of panic mode. If the score stays low, he keeps playing games forever.
True.
I'm not opposed to the idea.
Then definitely true.
Hey!
I've got it. The Gamer's days during panic mode will be no longer than 12 hours in length, and must be immediately followed by the Worker.
What?
Clever. You restrict it, and you pair the Gamer with the character who will balance him out.
Wouldn't one of those be enough? I'm okay with the twelve-hour thing, really!
He can't take a day without giving me one as well? I love it.
Can we talk about this?
The pairing with the Worker is what actually makes sense for panic mode. The idea is that to get out, we need to be more productive than usual. Which I admit, I am reconsidering...
No, see, this is what I'm saying. It's absolutely perfect. After this past month, everyone is going to be taking the threat of panic mode very, very seriously. We know how bad it is. We know the constant guilt we've felt.
Again, for the record...
Not you! I get it! Anyway, even the... you know, I didn't even say we all felt it! I just said "we". That applies to me, and at least a few others.
Okay, sorry.
I liked you better when you were stoic and mysterious. Anyway, even the Gamer now is afraid of panic mode, because of the new psychological component where he doesn't want the Worker to get a day. I hope this doesn't backfire and get the Gamer to ignore the Rules altogether.
Well, that's why I threw in the twelve-hour thing.
Ah, excellent.
I'll go ahead and add it in.
You all suck.
That's not a very long list. What about Angles and Circles, which you said you'd figure out what to do with? What about the plays? What about finishing Gamer Mom, instead of just taking a few steps with it? I could have accomplished more than this, all by myself.
You probably could have. But we're doing more than just accomplishing things. We're still doing character-building.
Enough with the character-building! You really think the Musician and the Programmer are better off now that they've had days where you conveniently look the other way if they mess up? If you want this ideal get-together thing or whatever it is you want, stop talking about it and do it already!
Okay, how about this. For November, we'll each write our own parts of the Plan.
Great, more Randomly Capitalized Words. That'll make what you're saying more worthwhile, for sure.
I would like to figure out where Angles and Circles is going. I don't know if that'll take one day or five, but that's my goal. I'm going to declare that intention at the beginning of the month, and you can all join me. My thinking is that you'll care more about the plan if it's your plan.
I'm not much of a talker. Just give me the days, and I'll use them.
That's fine. But the thing is, if you say what you want, the rest of us can help you get it. So, for instance, the Worker can spend some time on your music as part of his "helping other people" goal. But no deadlines this month. Or at least, no deadlines that we all have to listen to. You can make your own deadlines, but we don't have to listen. I'm just finding that when deadlines are missed, it creates a depression that outweighs the motivation the deadline created in the first place.
Without deadlines, we don't get anything done. We just sit around doing nothing, like we did this month.
Well, we'll see. I'm still new to this whole planning thing, and I'm feeling it out as I go. But like I said, I think this was a pretty successful month. We're in a better place emotionally and as a group than we were at the beginning.
Whatever.
From now on, I want all of us to remember what it felt like to be stuck in panic mode, and how hard it was to get out. And I want all of us to do our hardest to never have to panic ever again. Agreed?
Sure. Give me some days, no panicking necessary.
Oh, would you please shut up.
Advanced freecell is quite fun. This could actually be a commercial success as an app I believe.
Forget your 6 month projects, this one is going to be your first big hit. :)
I love the symbols by the way, they are great.
I was enjoying this until I lost because I couldn't hold more than four cards. I'm confused. That's a bug, right? You said I could hold five, and there's that fifth empty rectangle...
You can hold five cards. I don't know what the problem was, but let me know if you encounter it again and I'll look into it.
Hey Mory,
I feel like I can relate all too well to your Dear Imaginary Friend...
I guess in some sense I am the Imaginary friend. I exist on the internet, providing some art and responses to emails and things of that sort. There was even the brief Skype call. But I am not that far off from being an Imaginary friend. I read your blog. I imagine what your life is like and what is happening on the other side of the earth, so in a sense, you are my imaginary friend.
I suspect that your blog is one of the most monumental pages on the internet. The more you add the better it gets. Sometimes I wish that my blog could be as interesting as yours.
But back to how I feel I relate.
Right now I too am feeling like I am in a rut.
I finished school. I finished as well as I possibly could. I am really good at school. But real life has little to do with school. I am getting a few odd jobs. Not enough to really sustain myself, but enough drag on the time that I can try to be an independent artist.
And I feel like I have every possibility open to me. The possibility of the dream of just being an artist, full-time and independent is right in front of me for the taking, but I don't really know how to grab at it.
I apply for festivals and get rejected, and I tell myself that rejection is part of the process, that I just have to try harder and submit to more places.
But than the motivation runs out and I feel like I am stuck in one place and don't know where to go.
I have a few projects that are all crawling forward, with tiny spurts of progress, but I can't pick up momentum.
I'm thinking about posting the Summit online publicly because it has been lazing around way too long and I don't believe that the festival circuit is going to bring me any meaningful success.
I know that I am going to get out of this slump and that is what keeps me moving forward. I'm learning little bits of stuff everyday, and making little bits of stuff too. And that will get me through.
Well that was a long blathering comment.
Kyler
Re: Imaginary friend:
First of all, I wish it were easier to post comments on the relevant posts. but its not my blog, its yours.
I'll spare you the platitudes on what kind of life is worth living and stuff.
I've always been impressed that you actually DO things. You say you develop games, and then make them. You say you compose music and then do it. you decide to write a blog of the likes hasn't existed and do so.
I was thinking about Kyler's comment about how he wishes his blog was your like yours. well, i wish mine was more like yours too.
the previous comment was unfinished and this stupid thing posted it. I hope it made sense, because i have no idea where i left off.
Sorry, I should have put up a new commenting section a long time ago. I'll add a new one now. I used to have comments for each post (way back when I used Blogger instead of writing the blog with a text editor), but I was always disappointed when no one wrote. I feel like this is better. Though, if the comments really start pouring in all of a sudden I'll have to rethink things.
If you'd like to make a change to a comment, write me the corrected version at Mory@TheBuckmans.com and I'll be happy to edit the text.
This is going to be short, not because there's not a lot we need to talk about but because there are less than four hours until the Rosh Hashana holiday that will take up the rest of the month.
It's a shame you didn't remember that at the beginning of the month.
Yeah, he's a bit of a moron.
It's especially a shame because if the musician had more time he might finally come up with some music that's marketable. We don't have anyone else who's allowed to make money on a regular basis.
You make money.
I rely on other people's schedules. You won't let me take over full-time, so there you go.
And if you took over full-time, you wouldn't be able to protect yourself against the big bad Addict.
Low blow.
I apologize, it was a mistake, it happens.
It wouldn't have happened if you'd actually taken your job seriously.
Point taken.
Don't just say, "point taken"! That's meaningless!
I'm sorry. Calm down.
You let me down.
I know, and I'm sorry. I was making an effort to give the explorer opportunities this month, and there's not time for everyone.
But apparently the Addict gets as much time as he wants.
Enough. We don't have time for bickering. I set 11 objectives for the month, and we've hit 4 of those. Four.
I don't like Achievements.
I don't care. I want to know what went wrong.
The Addict went wrong.
No, that only happened because the worker was overstressed because we saved everything for the last minute.
I have a solution for that. Or at least, something to try. I've noticed that our average scores for the month aren't what they were in earlier stages of the game, when we tried to hit 7/10 each month to "level up". That was a good incentive, which had us scrambling desperately to reach 7/10 and stay there.
I could do without that hanging over my head.
I think what we're doing now is ten times crazier than what we were doing then. Of course we're not getting the same scores - we've fried our head.
Don't be cute. Programmer, continue.
I'd like to institute a "panic mode", to be activated any time we dip under 6/10 for the month. Until we get back over 6/10, there will be no TV (whatsoever), no comics (even editing), no movies, no music for anyone other than the Musician, and a strict limit of two hours of gaming per game-day.
Wow. I vote yes.
There are legitimate reasons to watch things with other people sometimes.
Then we'll leave you out of the rule.
And me too. I can't make progress with a two-hour day.
You can make progress on other things. It doesn't have to be gaming.
I hate this rule.
Okay. Shall we vote?
Yes, of course. I vote yes, obviously you're voting yes, and the worker has already voted yes which makes three out of eight.
Seven, really. The Addict never shows up.
I don't care either way.
One abstention, and I take it the Explorer votes against?
Right.
I'm torn. On the one hand I see the idea behind it. But on the other hand I like that other guys can give me music to work with. I guess I have to vote no, unless you take out the bit about music.
Music can be an addiction like any other.
That was my thinking.
Then my vote is no.
Same goes for me.
Then the vote is tied, three to three.
Like I said, if you take out the bit about music you have my vote.
If that's the game we're playing, then you'll have my vote if you take out the ban on movies.
Why would I take out-
It makes the most sense to take out the limit on games. When have we ever gotten too addicted to games to do other things?
These all seem just as arbitrary.
I don't want to take out any of these things! The rule is defined correctly. If the musician gets what he wants, he doesn't have an incentive to push the average score up to 6/10, which really isn't so high when you think about it. If the explorer gets to watch movies, he doesn't have an incentive to be more creative. And if the gamer wants to lose the limit on games, he'll do things other than gaming to get to the point where the limit's gone. And if any of you is the one that gets us out of panic mode, and it's clear that it's your high scores that did it, don't you think we'd be thankful enough to give you a few more days? You're all coming out of this with more opportunities.
It does make sense. I'll change my vote to a "yes".
Then the vote is 4 to 2. Would anyone else like to change their votes, before we wrap this up?
What's the point? It's over.
Okay then. The rule will be added. Programmer?
On it.
You didn't say anything about web browsing!
I didn't think of it until just now. Does it change your vote?
I voted no!
Exactly my point.
People! Must we be so petty? Regardless, it's possible that this might change things for someone. Does anyone want to change their vote?
No? Okay then. Programmer, I think it's a good rule and hopefully it'll discourage us from having more months like this.
What, these meetings weren't enough?
Please cut it out with the crabbiness, all of you. It's quite irritating.
But justified, in some cases.
Fine! What would you like?
I would like for you to not promise me I'm going to get days, when you have no intention of letting that happen.
Now, you know very well that's not what happened. It was an honest mistake.
The fact that you were able to make such an obvious mistake, which a double-check would have revealed immediately, shows how much you're committed to leading us.
I will double-check my decisions from now on.
That's all I ask.
You're right.
Okay, anything else anyone would like to bring up?
What, you're going to ignore the big elephant standing in the room?
What, the Addict?
No, not the Addict. I'm talking about the fact that we had 11 objectives, and we did 4 of them.
I mentioned that. But if you're saying that we should talk about that more-
That's what I'm saying. How is it that we messed up so spectacularly?
The new rule will help.
To hell with your rule. I mean, don't get me wrong. I shouldn't say that, it's a good rule. But it's not enough. It was the end of a week, and still no one had lifted a finger to meet the deadlines because apparently I'm the only one who cares about that.
Apparently.
That's not what happened. You need to look at the performance reviews before making accusations like this, Worker. We're talking about the 11th to 15th, right? I had a few character-building days-
What a waste of time.
I had a few character-building days, and during one of them (though I had no obligation to do this) I met one of the goals.
No you didn't.
I most certainly did, I finished Uncharted.
You finished a game. Whoop-dee-doo.
Again, I do not appreciate your tone.
What about the actual goals? By which I'm referring mainly to Angles & Circles.
I ran into a problem. I needed the addict to figure out how to get around it.
If I may speak on behalf of the Explorer, I think it turned out to be an unrealistic goal and it would have been fine if we'd continued without making it.
What? You said the deadlines were set in stone!
Are you talking about this?:
Plans may be added as the month advances and throws life's randomness into the equation, but these deadlines will stay fixed. This is going to be the sort of month that proves the value of the game.
Well, you were right. We proved how much the game was worth this month.
We did a few things...
Those were your words. What do you think we've proven?
That we still have a lot of work to do.
Understatement of the year. But let's focus on the fact that you said the deadlines were fixed, and then totally left me thinking there was more than I could possibly deal with!
Programmer, do you have any ideas?
Could you possibly be specific about the problem?
Certainly. I set a goal for the month which turned out halfway through the month to be a bad idea. But that was seen to be the case on the Explorer's day, and he has no obligation to worry about such things. So the next character suffered because I hadn't had time or reason to notice a problem. Now the Worker feels that he should have been informed of a necessary change, and I don't see how that could have been possible given the situation.
Uh huh. Couldn't the Worker have paused the day, thought about it, and recognized the problem? Planning is allowed during breaks.
The worker wouldn't necessarily have recognized the problem.
What was the problem?
We couldn't continue on Angles and Circles without deciding what we're doing with the game in the big picture.
That sounds like a job for the Thinker, not the Addict.
Sure, whoever.
It's really simple. The Thinker should have noticed a problem during the performance review. The Thinker has control for a few minutes every single day for the performance reviews - he should be able to deal with things like this and warn the others about necessary changes.
That would require the Thinker to act like he's responsible for all of us.
Sure.
I'll do my best to keep an eye on all of you.
That's not good enough.
It's all I can do. If you think I'm not doing my job properly, you can always take off points during my own performance reviews.
I think I'll do that.
What, and push us closer into panic mode? You wouldn't dare!
Panic mode has nothing to do with it. If I'm doing something wrong, it's your obligation to the group to let me know.
Well, it's kind of hard for me to notice you're doing things wrong, when I don't get even a single day!
I think it's time to wrap this meeting up -we're running in circles.
No plans for the month?
Plans for the month. We're running into all the holidays now, so we'll need to make the most of every minute. I'm thinking the Worker on Motza'ei Shabbat, to do Gamer Mom, post the Hyrule post, and maybe start learning the plays if there's time. I don't want to tell you how to manage your time, you'll see what you've got.
I should be able to do all that.
Great. After that I want a triple day for the Addict, to do things on the blog.
You can't be serious!
There's too much that needs to be done on it for a short day. I'm not satisfied with the pace of two posts per month. Don't worry, we've taken out the loophole in the day-extension rule, so we won't have a repeat of the Phineas and Ferb incident.
I think we could be using our time better.
Then make the most of the time you've got, and that'll make me more likely to put you in control more often. Beyond that, it's not your call.
You owe me three character-building days.
I was supposed to get, as well.
Programmer, I think we can skip you; I don't think you've ever had trouble staying in character.
I guess you're right. Though, I'm never called on much, so who knows.
If we start seeing a problem, then we'll talk. Musician. I know I owe you... no, you know what? The Programmer has every bit as much to gain from this as the Musician, I owe you both. But I can't give either of you 48 hours in the coming week. It'll have to be after that, but I promise I won't forget about you.
And what about the rest of us?
Wait for your turn. I'm sorry this is taking so long, but we only have so many days to work with.
Maybe we should cut back on social days. Like, maybe we don't need to put everything down every time Moshe wants to come over.
Hey!
Worker, you are out of line. It is the Person's right to get control whenever a social opportunity arises. I'd like to get back to the plan. Please don't interrupt me.
After the Addict, I'll come in to figure out what we're doing with Angles and Circles. Then the Explorer, maybe dealing with Angles and Circles but definitely continuing Gamer Mom.
If I feel like it. Not promising anything.
You want to work on Gamer Mom because you recognize its importance. Don't be a troublemaker. After him, we'll have two Worker days in a row because there will be so much to get caught up on. After that the Musician gets three days in 48 hours, and then the Programmer gets three days in 48 hours. I don't know specific dates yet, I'll need to sit down with a calendar. Though, maybe I shouldn't say specific dates because we saw how that can backfire. My plan for this next month is to focus primarily on Gamer Mom, but to be making significant progress on everything else as well: the blog, Angles and Circles, "Eshet Chayil",
I'll need you to take a look at that before I get my three days.
Fine. Then somewhere before, after or between the Worker's two days I'll take another. As I was saying, we'll work on Gamer Mom, the blog, Angles and Circles, "Eshet Chayil", the three plays, and Dungeon Master, in that order of importance.
It's too much.
Of course it's too much, but this is the life we've picked.
What about the Fear Itself editing?
Are you kidding me?
No. I'd like to do that.
And what about me?
I don't think Marvel Comics, or Uncharted 2, should be very high on our list of priorities right now! We're coming into Tishrei now, the month of all the holidays! Even without any distractions and interruptions, which isn't going to happen, we don't have a tremendous amount of time! Maybe we should just be focusing on Gamer Mom, and forgetting about everything else?
We need to work on the plays.
And we need the musician to get a good start on making something we can sell!
Eagh! There are fifty minutes left in the month. I would like to wrap this meeting up.
You can't avoid your responsibilities.
I know that, damn it! Over the holiday I'll think about our priorities, and then immediately after Shabbat and before the Worker starts, I'll take an hour and write out what I've decided.
Conveniently enough, that takes all of us out of the discussion.
How meaningful a discussion do you think we're going to have with fifty minutes until the holiday?
You're right, let's wrap it up.
Thank you. If you have more objections to my leadership, bring it up at my next perrfomance review! That will be all.
Septamber?
Are all months getting colours now?
Yes, I've been doing that for three months to make the old months look different. Thanks for catching the typo.
The link to the Deku nuts post is missing from the Living In Hyrule title page.
It's secret functionality hidden in plain sight (like the deku nuts).
No, it's there. You might be loading from cache; if you reload that frame, you'll see it.
Last month it seemed like the worker had gotten under control. So this month, the plan was to keep going with the other characters, and to give each character the chance to figure out who they are separate from the group. But here we are at the end of the month, and instead of having gotten comfortable with all the characters we've lost the perfect worker. What happened?
It was a bad plan, is what happened. There's too much to do to waste time thinking about things.
That is not a helpful attitude.
I see two problems. The first and most significant is an addiction to comics. The second problem is going to sleep too late, and being tired all the time. This is tied to the first problem, since we all stayed up late reading comics. Clearly addictions are the absolute evil we need to avoid, because they break down everything we build up. I propose a new rule: if in a performance review we ever see that some activity is turning into an addiction, we're not allowed to do that activity for a week afterward, with no exceptions.
Useless. I mean, it's a fine rule, but it changes nothing. I first noted the comics addiction on the 25th, and I said we shouldn't read any comics for a while. We kept reading comics anyway. What good is making it a rule going to do? Anyway, I'm not sure that's the problem. It is a problem, and we do need to be more careful, but it doesn't explain... yestrday, for instance, where there was no comics activity and the worker couldn't keep it together.
I was very tired.
Okay, so that is a major problem, and the fact that the computer shuts down automatically at 3:00 ought to help in that regard.
Unless you stay up reading, like you did last night.
Point taken.
The problem with the month is I didn't have any say in it. You gave me one day, where my activities were dictated by the schedule. If I'd had other days, I would have given you all ideas on how to be less stuffy.
Again, I don't think this is the main problem.
The main problem was a lack of enthusiasm, and the explorer could have helped that.
Thank you.
Without enthusiasm, none of these rules and none of these plans and none of these characters are worth anything at all.
The explorer was criticized for a lack of enthusiasm in his one day.
I already said that that was because my activities were dictated to me, instead of arising naturally from my personality.
I suppose it's possible.
Let's please not take this idea too seriously. We are very very busy these days. I know it doesn't look like it from the sluggishness of this past week, but let's not forget that we are in the middle of no less than eight projects of various types.
We need deadlines.
Yes, we do. We also need to be always moving forward. How's this for a theory: we lost interest in the game because the entire point of the game this month was about wallowing in our own flaws instead of moving forward.
That's an interesting thought. Just as you need to "stick to the plan" precisely or lose all your momentum, so too should we never waver in following the direction for the month. Once we feel like what we're doing is separate from the plan, we lose the plan. That means that the monthly plan needs to always be flexible enough to allow for changes. Maybe that was the problem.
That was in no way similar to what I was saying.
Are we giving up on the character exercise, then?
No, I still think it's important to get each voice right. But let's make that just a small part of the month, and we can include deadlines for everything else.
What if each day of the exercise is just a few hours, and you immediately follow it with another exercise day? It could be the same character, or a different character...
I like the idea of having two instances of one character in a day. Cut the personality down to the essentials, and come up with different variations.
We have to restore the rule about not following a bad day with the same character. It's an important rule.
Okay. No exceptions this time.
I think I understand what everyone wants here. Deadlines, shorter character building, a more active role for the explorer, a limit on comics, and sufficient attention given to everything we need to be doing. I'll write up the plan for September tonight.
We were going to capitalize the names of characters.
That's true. I guess I've gotten used to writing the characters' names uncapitalized, and I didn't even think about it. But it should be capitalized, Explorer, you're right. Should I edit what we've written?
Just move on already. No one cares.
I'll move on. I know the programmer had some rules he wanted to run past us, so we'll let him do that.
The first rule I'd like to suggest is a point incentive for staying in character. For a while now we've been losing points for breaking character, but that's been a one-way street. Now if you particularly excel at playing your character, you get one point.
Just one?
Just one. I don't want to give the impression that as long as you're being yourself, you don't need to care about any of the other rules.
A wise precaution. I doubt anyone will object to this rule. How will you word it?
It'll go after the line about losing points for breaking rules or principles. "Conversely, if the activities of the day present a particularly believable representation of the character, one point will be added (with the maximum still not exceeding ten)."
Did we need to hear that?
No, I guess not. Just add it in, then. No need for the whole fancy arrow business; this is the sort of rule that should have been there from the beginning.
Thank you.
Okay, next rule. We should only allow a day to be extended if it's going well.
That's not a clear rule.
Can you word it more clearly?
Oy, again with the wording!
You said it wasn't clear.
Never mind. Spend fifty years working on getting the words just right, I don't care.
Ignore him. Can you word the rule more clearly?
"If twenty-four hours have passed since the last scoring period, the score for the day must immediately be estimated. (A precise calculation may not be possible before the closing statement and performance review.) If it is estimated that the score for the day (were it concluded immediately) would be 7/10 or higher, then the day may continue. Otherwise, the day must conclude immediately, and the formal review will take place."
Fascinating. There, I think we did need to hear the precise wording.
Isn't that backwards? If you don't have a good score yet, maybe you need the extra time to get it up there!
That's not what we've seen happening in practice. If the day's going badly enough to score under 7/10, there's some essential problem with the approach that's not going to be fixed by just carrying it on longer. We keep hearing the excuse "The day isn't good yet!", followed by the day getting even worse. This will stop that.
I love it.
It does seem like it might work. Any objections?
Seriously, this is a big change. If you don't like it, now's the time to speak up. There won't be another chance.
My scoring goes by progress. With a longer day, I necessarily make more progress. And I'm not sure if I'll always be able to get a seven in twelve hours.
It's more than twelve hours. It's twenty-four hours from the last scoring. So let's say you get eight and a half hours of sleep, you take a half hour to start the day, we'll take off another hour of expected mundanity, you've still got fourteen hours. If in fourteen hours you can't get things done, you're playing the wrong games.
You're right, I take back what I said.
Any other criticisms or concerns?
What if I'm out with friends, and there are more opportunities that I'll miss out on if I don't keep going?
If you're out with friends, you should be having a meaningful enough time to get that 7/10.
Maybe not. Maybe we're just starting out.
In this hypothetical situation, what were you doing for a full day up to that point?
Maybe it was a decent, but not a stellar day so far, and this social opportunity will push it over the edge. Maybe it's a solid six-pointer so far.
He has a point. Six out of ten is respectable.
If it's 6/10, you're still allowed to repeat the character. You can end the day with six points, start a new day as the person, and have a full twenty-four hours to do whatever it is you're doing.
What if it's five out of ten?
Then you've screwed yourself out of the opportunity. Play better, and that won't happen.
I don't like it.
I don't care. It's a good rule.
Programmer, could you possibly lower the cut-off to 5/10?
Five out of ten is a mediocre day. We don't want to extend that.
Okay, I understand what you're saying, but it's not a huge difference.
Seven is the right number. Do you think five makes more sense?
No, but maybe a compromise would be in order.
"Compromise". I can see why you didn't get anything done this month, you don't hav much intellectual integrity.
That is not called for. That is really not called for.
I say we put it to a vote. Musician?
Yea.
Explorer?
I have no problem with it.
This isn't right. You're voting because you know you'll win this way!
You're damned right. Worker?
Anything to reduce wasted time.
I vote for it.
Thinker?
Fine, I get it! You can have your rule.
I vote yes, if anyone cares. Let's put in the rule.
Now if we're done with that little drama, I have a rule of my own to suggest. I would like to formalize a policy we've already been following but could pursue more rigidly: whenever our plans rely on other people, we need to confirm the schedule shortly before relying on it.
Now that's a rule I can get behind.
Like I said, this is nothing new. So let's just add it in. Programmer, do you mind if I just add it in with yours?
Sure.
Done. What do you think of the wording?
It's fine.
Okay. Does anyone have anything else to add to this meeting?
Then we'll end it here.
Not much to say, because the month has gone well.
I haven't gotten a turn yet.
Yes, well, progress has been slow. But character building takes the time it takes, and then you have it for life.
I would think it's a constant effort.
Sure, but it's like riding a bicycle. Once you can do it, you never forget.
It's not worth arguing.
Why, is there something you'd like to say?
No.
Okay. I have to congratulate you on becoming the character we needed you to be.
There's more work to do.
Good attitude.
I think if you gave me more time, I could get everything in our life under control.
Shut up!
I think what the explorer means to say is "no". But it's good that you want to keep going. That's exactly the kind of self-confidence I was hoping for.
I'm serious.
Shut. Up.
Good, very good. Worker, do you have
By the way, are we capitalizing our names now? It seems inconsistent.
You know what, yes. From now on, our names will be capitalized. We should have been doing that from the beginning.
Okay, Thinker.
Unless... I guess we could hold off on capitals until we earn them.
Names Capitalized. Move on.
Oh fine. Worker, is there anything you can say that you've learned about how to play your part? Because it would be best if we could take that and make a rule out of it, so that you never have trouble remembering your lines.
No rule. I just try to do what needs to be done.
I like that, very... what's the word.
Stoic.
Are you sure? Let's see... "one apparently or professedly indifferent to pleasure or pain"
I have a complaint. Your "moments of reflection" make no sense at all.
Explain.
Well, if I'm in the middle of doing something, suddenly stopping in the middle is just an interruption, just because it's 7:40 PM or whenever.
I did notice that you weren't pausing the game.
It's a waste of time.
What if there were some sort of script to follow, so that you're checking whether you're still in character?
It's a waste of time.
Explorer, do you have any thoughts?
Butterflies.
Excuse me?
I'm picturing butterflies fluttering by. It's very dreamy.
Any thoughts that are relevant to the three "moments of reflection"?
It's a waste of time.
You've said that already.
Oh, fine, I'll take the rule out. But I haven't given up on the idea, it just needs more tweaking.
Another complaint I'd like to make is the schedule. There's no reason that we should be ending days at 3:00 while the rest of the world is asleep by midnight. We should switch to a more normal schedule.
It's... hm. I don't think "normal" is necessarily something we're going for.
Don't be repressing me, you.
It's just causing friction between us and the rest of the world, for no good reason. It makes it awkward to do things like go to work and not be tired all day.
You are free to go to sleep whenever you want. And so are we.
Well, that doesn't exactly work, does it? To keep changing sleep schedules?
You never know. Maybe it would.
No, but you know, that's ridiculous. Usually I won't be following myself, which means someone else will be going to sleep at some godforsaken hour, like you going to sleep at 5:30 some nights, and then I'm going to be tired all day.
I think we're all capable of being considerate of such considerations... that's a terrible wording. I think we can take into account such-
It's ridiculous.
Noted. I don't think you'll find anyone with your point of view, though.
What about the Person?
I don't know. Person?
What?
Would you prefer to go to sleep at a normal hour?
I don't know, I generally stay up late on Friday nights talking to people. But I guess during the week it could be cool to be awake in some different hours, sure. I rarely chat with people out of the country, anyway. But right now it doesn't make too much difference. Maybe when you give me enough time to myself to have a social life, I'll care one way or the other more.
Thank you.
Weirdos.
Let's move on and talk about the blog. I'm disappointed you didn't write on it more. It's there for you.
Is it?
It's there for all of us.
Here for all... never mind.
I had more pressing things on my agenda.
Why don't you quickly run through what you've accomplished.
I don't know. I guess I got some work done on Gamer Mom, and Angles and Circles. I probably should have done more.
Mm hm. Well, I guess we can wrap this up.
You haven't been exercising.
That's true. I should have.
Yes.
But I get so tempted by the computer, and I get stuck there instead of going to the Wii.
I was like that too. But you have to push past it.
But what if there's something really interesting in my inbox?
There isn't.
Or some blog that's updated? And here we'll imagine it's an interesting update, and not something silly.
It's always silly. But even if it isn't, you don't belong on the computer until you've started the day properly.
See, I don't think like that.
You should.
I'm always looking for things that might get some thoughts out of me.
Are you thinking particularly profound thoughts immediately after waking up?
Sometimes.
No, you need to be more awake than that. Look, after exercising and showering and what have you you've got hours and hours to read your precious blogs.
That is true. It's just an addiction, isn't it.
Exactly. Some habits are useful. That one isn't.
So just push past it. I'll try to do that.
Maybe you should try doing stranger things, instead of always relying on habits.
Not a very good cake if it's made from stale ingredients.
Right. And I'm saying this because I want my turn already.
I know. Thank you, I'll try.
You'll try what?
I'll look for insight in new places.
Good.
Thursday will be yours whether I'm done or not, so that you can see... what's the name of the movie?
The Tree of Life.
Yes. So I doubt I'll be done in just two days, but you will get a day regardless.
I don't want a day. I want to have a lot of days. I'd do more for the blog than you do.
Let's please not forget how much work there is to be done in Gamer Mom and Angles and Circles, and soon Cox and Box as well. Life goes on whether or not you're playing an exercise.
We'll have to call you and the addict more often, then.
I mean, the addict.
No, I don't think I am. On to August, then.
I’m curious: in choosing a non-Nintendo console, why did you choose a PS3 over an Xbox 360?
For PS2 compatibility old PS2s are cheap (in the UK; but maybe not in Israel?)
In a word: Flower. The downloadable game by Jenova Chen is one of the main reasons I'm buying a PS3. But there's also Heavy Rain and Uncharted 2, both of which it seems from internet chatter like I have an obligation to play as a gamist involved in interactive stories. The XBox 360, on the other hand, has no exclusive games I'm interested in. Buying the Playstation 3 wasn't (just) about being fed up with Nintendo, it was about wanting to play particular games.
As for PS2 compatibility, which due to a mistake I don't have, it's not as big a deal as I thought. The main games I wanted for PS2 were Ico and Shadow of the Colossus, which are being rereleased as a bundle for PS3. There are a few games I want from PS2 that I won't be able to play, but not enough to buy a system over.
I'm just going to start, and whoever pays attention pays attention. I'm going to be in charge here, because this entire multiple-personalty system was my idea and I'm more invested in its success than the rest of you. However, I recognize that as I am now, I am not worthy to lead you. I have been disrespectful, distracted and lazy. And my rules, rather than helping me to overcome these traits, allow me to indulge them. So before I spend even one minute as the self-appointed leader of our life, I'm going to rewrite my entire character page. Please wait for me.
Excuse me, programmer? I need your help for a minute.
Of course.
Thanks for your patience, guys. We'll be done in a few minutes.
Wait'll you see how the rule change works. It was my idea.
Thank you, programmer. At the rules, you'll have to go all the way in to see the new version.
That's so that you can compare the new rules to the old ones. From now on we won't lose anything when making edits. It'll just keep getting deeper and deeper. Which it how is anyway, in real life, but now the format reflects that.
Please take a minute to review the changes, and then we'll begin.
I like the part where you say you won't go over fifteen hours. We'll see if you can stand by that.
Oh, now I realize I should highlight the changes when you get to them. But that means I'd need to use <div> tags instead of <spans>.
We should be doing that anyway, it's bad code.
Does anyone have any problem with me, assuming these revised rules, deciding on how we move as a group? You can rest assured that it's in my best interest to let all of you be the most extreme possible versions of yourselves, because that will make the best story.
Okay then.
June was a disaster. The goals were to be distinct and coherent characters, and to reinvent the blog as a home for all of us. Instead we devolved into an amorphous lump. If the first month of The Rules had gone like this, we would have immediately declared the game a failure and gone back to one personality. Which is essentially what we have here anyway, because if you take out the names, colors and statements from the performance reviews you can barely tell who's who. Despite the scoring, despite the opening statements and despite the shell script, the multiple characters are becoming a thin façade for the person I was at the bottom of this page.
The most important cure to this problem is belief. True belief, the kind that shapes worlds, is not something which can be established once and then forgotten. It is an act of willpower that must be constantly maintained. If we do not believe we exist, we will not exist and all that will be left is the ambiguously-defined person.
Hey!
I call it like I see it. We still need to work on you.
You don't even have a color yet! You're just there.
Anyway. In order to remember the rules at all times, I'm instituting a new rule about "moments of reflection". At three preset times each day, we need to stop whatever we're doing for a few minutes and ask ourselves whether we're satisfied with what we're doing. Hopefully this will cut down significantly on out-of-character behaviors.
You didn't tell me about this.
I wanted to move quickly and the details weren't challenging. It would bore you and be a waste of your time to have to deal with this. And it would slow us down. We need to be speeding up. I've already set up an alarm on the computer, and we'll see how it goes. Anyway, what was it I was talking about? ... I see I mentioned the blog.
Did you?
One of the goals for the month was to make the blog a place we could all live in. But that didn't happen, even though the ingredients are all there. Ultimately we were all too lazy to make that a reality.
Some of us have more important things to be doing.
Okay, let's move into the review for the month, and we'll start with you. You had two days, with an average score of 2.5/10.
That is a lie! A ridiculous lie. I had a perfectly good day, and because the programmer has a stick up his butt I got a zero.
You didn't write anything down.
So what?
So you got a zero.
The programmer should never have been put in charge. He doesn't understand us.
Hello, musician. I understand what you're saying, and I do think the 5 you got for your only day was unduly harsh.
I was following the rules.
So we'll change the rules. That's what these meetings are here for. But let's save that for later. Programmer, you had two days with an average score of 3.5. The explorer had two days with an average score of 4. The gamer had two days with an average score of 6, the addict had one day worth 7, the worker had two days of 6 each, and I had three days with an average of 4, which included both the only day above 8/10 and one of many zeros for the month. Overall the average score is 4.25/10, the lowest of any month since the beginning of the performance reviews. Hence my introduction: June was a disaster.
This reflects on the programmer more than on me.
It reflects on all of us, as a group. If you mess up your day, you're hurting every single one of us because we won't think you're there to be counted on when we need you. On page 4 I'm going to propose a plan for July to scale back in the short-term, but for right now we are going to look at what went wrong, and how to prevent it in the future. Programmer, I'm going to need you to pay close attention to what everyone says here, so that you can come up with the rules we need.
You're giving him more control over us?
We are a group. The programmer won't do anything that goes against our natures, I promise you.
Person, you say you were fine and the programmer scored you wrong. But a close examination of your days shows that you've been misplayed. On your first day, you sat by yourself and practiced your "bored" pose, and then you wondered why it was you hadn't formed a connection with anyone. If you're going to be antisocial, what's the point of having you? The rest of us are antisocial, we don't need you to step in to be antisocial for us.
I'm not antisocial.
Debatable. Regardless, for your character it's unacceptable. What the hell were you doing playing Lode Runner while your grandparents were downstairs?!
In your second day, you ignored all of us by not holding yourself accountable to our standards. And then you act indignant when you're scored accordingly?
It wasn't important to write anything down. I was doing things with people.
And that's your strength, or at least, it's supposed to be. You need to show us that you're good at dealing with people, or else we'll let you take control less and less. Tell me, do you want interactions with other people to be handled by me, or by the addict?
Okay, I see your point.
If you want to get anywhere at all, you need to be a lot less self-absorbed.
I have a suggestion.
Excellent. Let's hear it.
Well, first of all I think we need to write the interactive post I planned. But we can also add a line into the person's rules saying he always needs to put real and fictional people ahead of himself.
I don't know how effective that'll be, given that that's supposed to be obvious anyway.
Obviously it's not so obvious, or he'd be acting like that. I can't give you anything more specific, because the scoring rules already reward proper socializing. I don't know why this line is needed, but we can add it in anyway.
Do you have any objections, person?
No.
Good.
..It's Asimov's laws of robotics. You expect me to follow the laws of robotics.
Sure.
Is this a joke?
A more methodical approach to life won't hurt you. You've been coasting, and that's no use to anyone. This is better.
How am I supposed to function as a member of society when I'm following rules like a robot?
By introducing new rules whenever they're needed. Try these out for a few months, and we'll see how it goes.
It's demeaning.
Let me make your position perfectly clear. On June 22nd I went to see Carousel, with all the people from Ruddigore starring in it. And while I was there I was able to recall the actor character I'd built up there, with whom conversation with absolutely everyone was easy and enjoyable without losing a fundamental honesty even in the face of social etiquette. This is the character you are competing with. He has made friends. You have not.
I have plenty of friends.
Not since The Rules. That's what I'm looking at.
Can we please move on? We are ridiculously late. Again.
From now on, the addict should always have the last day of the month to manage the self-meeting. It should be unscored and should not take into account the once-in-three-days limitation on pulling out the addict.
Okay. Write it up.
I don't know, you want to leave it unscored?
If it's scored for the previous month, it changes the numbers so we can't discuss them at the meeting. If it's scored for the following month, it means that every single month is going to be starting the same way, and I know you're not the only one here who'd have a problem with tha. So no score. Thankfully the addict is entirely trustworthy. Even if he's not scoring, if he's writing it down and staying in character we don't need to worry about him.
I'm not sure about this, but we need to move on so I'll let it stand for now.
Programmer. Let's continue with you, because you've got the opposite problem to the person. You need to be more self-centered.
Why?
Because dealing with us is not your forté. I appreciate that you stepped in when I left, and under the circumstances I think you did a fine job. But that's not who you are. In your days, you were so worried about what everyone else might want that you entirely ignored your own self-fulfillment. Put frankly, the "challenges" you've given yourself this month were not challenges. They were busywork of the sort you should have left for the worker, and storytelling of the sort you should have left to me. If you are specifically requested to get something done, and it seems like they actually need you for it, by all means help out. But otherwise you're better off working on your own projects. Do you understand?
Yes.
Good. I don't think we need to add a rule for you.
I'm going to make an edit anyway.
Gamer. Gamer? I guess he's not coming. Well, his rules are fine but he didn't follow them. They explicitly say no reading, which he was guilty of in both cases. These are very common-sense rules, but he doesn't understand them because he's not nearly as rushed as he should be. I don't know what else I can say about that except that if he doesn't stick to the script he'll find himself being called upon less and less.
This page is entitled "New rules". If you're not going to put in new rules, don't waste our time. I would like to remind you that it is July 3rd already. What the heck?
I had D&D.
What a shocker.
I was playing.
Worker, your point is taken. These comments should have been on the first page, so I'll just hurry up and then get on to my last proposed rule. The worker needs to take mid-day naps when he's tired, the explorer needs to be more lively and enthusiastic, and the musican should stand up for his deserved time more. If we still see a problem we may need to write rules to encourage these attitudes, but for now I trust you all to make the necessary changes to your lifestyles.
How do I differentiate between a day where I'll be able to keep going without rest, and a day where I need a nap?
Good question. Programmer?
You don't know when you're tired?!
If your usual sleep schedule was disrupted, you can automatically assume you're going to need a nap and plan accordingly. Otherwise, you can rely on the thinker's moments of reflection: if you see that you've been drifting off of the plan, don't even bother to write up a revision. Just go to sleep, wake up an hour later and figure out what you're doing then. You are not expected to keep going if you're falling asleep.
I would actually emphasize that you're not just not expected to keep going, you're actively discouraged from continuing if you're tired.
That doesn't make sense. If he's being paid for his work, he shouldn't take a nap in the middle. Consistency in rules is important.
Fine, maybe you can take a nap unless there's money involved.
I'd rather say that naps are always okay at home, but out of the house you need to keep yourself awake.
If you're tired, sleep! This isn't rocket science!
Worker, are you going to be okay?
Yes.
Good. The last rule I'd like to propose is that the thinker, gamer and explorer are all off-limits when there's any sense of urgency in the month.
I don't like this rule.
It applies to me as well as you. I just see that we don't thrive under pressure.
What if I have a deadline for Angles & Circles? I can only get the addict to work for me once every three days!
The worker can do the work.
It's not a good idea to keep rushing all the time. You need a break now and then.
So we can give you the day!
Music can be pretty intense.
No moreso than the gamer.
But more than me.
Sorry, you're outvoted. It's a bad rule.
Can you reword it, then?
I have no idea what you're trying to accomplish with it, so I can't accept that challenge.
Fine. I just thought I'd put it out there.
I'll give the post over to the rest of you now. Any problems during the month, other than what we've gone over?
Yeah, the programmer had no right to ignore our personalities when scoring.
What, you should be given a free pass whenever you want it?
He's just doing his job. I don't see what this argument is about.
Enough of this! Your personalities are tied to the rules. If you're not happy with the rules, now's the time to suggest changes. If you don't want to change them, you'll follow the rules as they stand.
I see absolutely no reason why I should need to exercise.
You're sitting down all day, playing piano. You need to exercise or the next personality gets an atrophied body to work with. Any other stupid questions?
You'll deal with the rules, all of you.
Our life is getting stale. Where's the excitement and spontaneity?
Excitement and spontaneity don't get you anywhere.
But they do inspire and reinvigorate.
If you want to do things that are different, no one's stopping you.
No, it's a good point, and I think we should make a rule about it. The whole point of this game is to avoid falling into repressive patterns of behavior. If we're falling into a routine, the whole system is pointless. Explorer, do you have any ideas?
Me?
Sure, you're the one who raised the issue.
I don't know. But I'm thinking that the general behavior section of The Rules is going to get awfully crowded soon.
We can hide the ones which aren't active. They're not huge edits, anyway.
Okay, do that. No, but wait. If you click on the links before this, they'll reappear. So what good is that doing? Better we should put all the rules for one section at once.
But we've already put all of them.
Fine, for now let's just put the rule without a link. I'll have to figure out how to clean it up later. Maybe I can use the sidebar. I don't know if there's enough room there under the SVGs.
But we haven't decided anything yet!
How about this: every week, something unexpected... no, that's too hard to define.
I've got an idea. This is the explorer's idea. So every time the explorer gets a day, he schedules strange days for the rest of us.
I could do that.
Excellent, it's settled.
Anything else?
Yes. How much longer is this break in the game going to be, exactly?
Let's wait and see if anyone else has anything to say.
I think everyone needs to be a lot better. I'm getting embarrassed by the lack of things to talk about.
Yes, well, we're not going to be writing any rules about that. That's broader strategy.
Whatever it is, just do it. Be better.
Yes. We can all take that advice. Thank you.
Okay! If there's nothing else, we'll move on.
We've spent months building up these characters, getting comfortable with the rules, etc. But we've gotten complacent, and even though we're each of us very far from where we're supposed to be we use the fact that it'll be someone else tomorrow to not stick to the script and not care. So let's forget everything we've learned, and start back from square one. We'll cut back on the number of characters this month, and no one goes anywhere until they show that they can repeat their performance consistently. For this month, we're going to cancel the rule that you can't keep going if you get under 6/10. If you absolutely can't proceed without one of the other characters' input, ask for them and you'll get one day off. But then it's back to you, and you'll have to get it right. Does everyone understand what we're going to be doing?
Yes.
I don't like the idea of everyone being on their own. I can handle that, but sometimes other personalities need me. And you're saying that I can't go to help them unless they specifically ask for me.
That is what I'm saying.
Honestly, that scares me.
Good. That shows that you need this. Learn to exist on your own, without expecting anyone else to take over. Once it feels like you could keep being yourself forever, that's when the next personality steps in.
Neat.
We're going to start with the addict and the worker.
The addict doesn't need the strengthening, does he?
No, but I'd like him to spend a day playing Zelda. We haven't been active enough in the community playthrough, and there's an opportunity there that's lessening each day we wait. As soon as he finishes with Zelda, you get your chance to show us what you can do. And then you'll keep going until we see that you're stable.
That sounds like fun.
Then I'll join, because I'm behind on the blogging. So far my only successes have been in telling the rest of you what to do.
I'd object if it weren't true.
I'm looking forward to using my new ruleset to figure out who I am and what I can do when I'm on my own. After me, the explorer.
Yay!
I'm hoping you'll work on Angles & Circles, but of course you're free to do whatever you want. About the scheduling rule: you don't need to follow it this month.
But I want to.
Well, yes, but we can't keep up with all your requests because you might have a lot of days.
Don't worry about that. I'll get it right quickly.
We'll see how it goes. After the explorer, if there's still time in the month we'll do the gamer and then the programmer and finally the musican.
There's no way we can do all this in one month.
This will likely continue into August and even September. We need for every single character to have a chance to shine.
What about me? You didn't mention me.
You can't really be scheduled, since you rely on other people. If an opportunity should arise, you'll have the day. By the way, everyone - if days need to be put in which don't fit the plan, it's recommended that you use the addict or the worker.
So that's why the worker is going first.
Yes. But also, there are some work days coming up. That could be the addict, but I think it's healthier if it's the worker.
We'll see how much we can get done this month, and then we'll continue where we left off the next month. So the next self-meeting will be shorter than usual.
Thank God.
Or it could be the same length, if something's going horribly wrong. But I think we'll be fine.
Past this prolonged exercise, the focus of the group will be 80% on the musicians' more marketable projects, Angles and Circles and Gamer Mom. Beyond those three things we'll just be worrying about maintaining sanity and energy.
And chaos!
That's what I meant by "energy".
There's going to be a new D&D game starting while the other one is on break, and we'll probably be meeting more often.
We'll figure out how to deal with that when we come to it.
And what about Dungeon Master?
Good question. We can have some addict and worker days this month, and I'll work on it myself. I guess we can add that in to the category of things we'll be focusing on. I think four main subjects of focus is plenty.
Will that keep everyone involved? The musician, the explorer with Angles and Circles, I have Gamer Mom, the thinker with... hm, what will you be doing?
This doesn't have to work like that. We're not always going to be involved equally in a month. Sometimes one personality is needed more, and sometimes he's needed less. For instance, the person won't have much to do while we're heavily working on the creative things, but once we're done or farther into it, there may be a lot more socializing as a result of the work or of the resulting self-confidence. Everyone will have their day, and the exercise now is to make sure that when that happens we know exactly how to deal with it, almost like an instinct.
I'd like more games.
Now you show up? Last page would have been the time for comments like that. We're ending the meeting now.
Darn.
I think we're done here. See you all next month.
What software are you working with for your piano piece?
It is a really nice piece. It feels a lot like your other pieces but with more nuance and depth.
I use QTractor. Hopefully I'll be able to get more "nuance and depth" into all my recordings, now that I'm one step closer to knowing how to use it properly. The piano soundfont is something I downloaded off BitTorrent; I don't remember what it is exactly.
Next page |
"I don't know how this turned into this, but it's my fault. And everyone hates me. One day as an Avenger and I fail completely. Why am I even here? These people hate me. They look at me and they see Skrull and loser and Skrull loser ... I hate that this is the sum of all the parts of my life. Well, if this is how I gotta go, I'm taking as many of them with me as I can!"Ouch, that's bad narration. So over-written. Now I remember why it was that I edited that page out of my copy of the issue, and why I didn't collect Bendis's seven-issue Spider-Woman: Agent of S.W.O.R.D. Skrull-hunting angst-fest. That series was more of the same, only more so. And every single time she's on panel since she got back three years ago, there's some variation on "I'm really not good enough, I don't understand why you keep treating me like your friend.". She's been angry and reckless, running off on a bunch of suicide missions that the Avengers need to bail her out from.
"I don't know what it is about her... she's so angry all the time, but it's so damn cute. Don't tell her I said that, it'll just make her angry.Also adorable was the moment where Hawkeye, upon being saved by Ms. Marvel, playfully says "I love you.", and Jessica looks like she's trying to escape off the side of the page. That Bachalo is a clever one.
Okay, let's call this meeting to order. The first order of business
Hey, who elected you?
Well, I can't wait around for the rest of you to get your act together. We're just wasting time.
Cool it. We're not gonna get anywhere with an attitude like that.
This is silly. Let's get started already.
You're not in charge here.
Actually, the question of who runs the meeting is of vital importance. The whole nature of the discussion will be dictated by the faux-social hierarchies we decide here, and this will apply in the future
Does anyone object to the person running the meeting?
Why the person?
Because he'll be unbiased. I doubt he cares one way or the other about anything that happened this month.
The person would be interesting.
You're wrong about the person's interest. The people most creative will give the person more topics to socialize about with other people.
That'll be good for me.
Actually, that could make for a fitting perspective, given the intentions for this past month.
Great. Any objections? No?
I want to make it clear, though, that this agreement only extends to this particular meeting. We will need to speak about more permanent faux-social hierarchies soon.
Fine. Whatever. I'd just like to start this as soon as humanly possible, because it's 1:43 AM on June 2nd and ideally this should already have been written by the end of May 31st. I don't want to drag this on any longer.
Incidentally, no one's officially been in control since the beginning of the month. This is a problem.
I'm not certain what we can do about that.
Honestly, this is utter chaos! Is the person here?
I'm here. Hi.
Would you mind starting this meeting already? It's obvious no one's going to let me do it, and I can't take one more minute of this time-wasting.
Sure. Is everyone here?
I'm here.
The programmer.
I think our names ought to be capitalized. That should be the first thing on the agenda.
The thinker's here, and I heard the musician and the gamer earlier. What about the explorer?
What?
Okay. The addict?
Has anyone seen the addict?
He's sleeping.
That's no good. This meeting can't start until we have all eight of us. If even one of us isn't present, this isn't a fair system.
For God's sake.
Let's just start. If the addict needs to say something, he should be here.
And what if we have something to say to him? What if we're not happy with his performance?
We're going to start. Please be quiet for a moment.
Excuse me, but we aren't displaying properly here. This should only take a minute to learn to fix.
Fantastic.
We'll wait.
Okay, it's displaying now. But it's not exactly pretty. I may need the explorer's help later to get it set up right.
Yay!
Okay. Thank you. Worker, you can stop glaring now. In fact, stop trying to rush us along. We have absolutely nothing planned until Friday, when Dena will be home and I'm hoping to watch The Voice with her. It's 2:14 now, and it looks like we'd be best off continuing this meeting into tomorrow. The alternative is to keep pushing on until it's way too late, and we'll all be too tired to have a decent conversation. Would you prefer that?
I wonder which of us could stay in character most effectively while tired. That would be useful information.
We should start with a summary of the month's goals.
Okay. Let's see... I'll just copy and paste what I said.
Each day, I'm going to pick a different character. At the end of the month, when I look back at who I've been overall, I want to see a cohesive character who is defined first and foremost by his creativity. The nature of that creativity should be very diverse. I want to get the impression of a person so multifaceted and strange that one never knows what he will do next. This is not my natural state -I am a person prone to easy and repetitive patterns of behavior.- so the performance will likely require the careful and respectful collaboration of all eight of my personalities.
The post should be a fixed width, to give a sense of us all shoved in here together. And there shouldn't be the usual margins.
This isn't the time. You can fix it up tomorrow, before we publish.
Okay. And I haven't made up my mind yet whether there should be spaces between us. I need to play around with it a bit to find out.
It seems to me that there are four components to the plan.
I'm going to make the blockquote bigger.
I don't like how the blockquote just sort of sits there. It definitely needs to be a different color, something that stands out but doesn't look too out of place here. Do you think it could be a shade of pink?
You fascinate me. Tell me, what is it about this post that so engages you while bigger projects like Angles & Circles don't seem so urgent? Is it just the quantity of work?
I don't know. I do love Angles & Circles. So what do you think, could pink work? I'll need to test it out.
Not now you won't.
Thanks for stepping in, I might have had to kill him otherwise.
I'll bet.
What is that supposed to mean?!
Would you please all stop attacking each other?
We can start from the fourth point -respect between characters- by noting that there's not much of it.
Wrong. We are all sitting here, putting our plans on hold for a few hours, all for the sake of a dream of something halfway between multiple personalities and a single definitive self. We're engaging each other's ideas. Accepting each other's existence. This is respect. Now, working like a well-oiled machine, that's what you actually want but that comes with time. It starts with respect, and we've got that in spades.
No, I don't see it. The exact phrase was "respectful collaboration", and the context was the two pieces of music in "The Rules".
I know that.
I'm sure you do. The idea is that we shouldn't just be thinking about ourselves, we should care about each other. I think about everyone, as does the programmer and the worker.
Excuse me. How does you taking forty hours (plus sleeping) on conversations about comics, after you specifically and personally said that that time would be assigned to me, the musician and someone else... how does that count as "thinking of everyone"? That is thinking of you. You stole that time from us.
You're right. I shouldn't have taken so long, especially right after I had the addict doing what I wanted. But what I said was a suggestion. I understood that things could change, and we'd already gone off script from the day that was supposed to be the explorer's.
Yeah, what was that about? I didn't get enough days this month!
It was urgent that I get in there before any more bad days happened. The worker seemed totally lost, so I wrote the "sd" script to give quick guidelines and point people in the right direction.
There, you see? Respect.
You lost a day yourself!
Does it sting that I only got one day this whole month? Yeah, it stings. But I knew that when I had a day, I got a day. I was able to just run with what I was doing and no one said to me "My turn now, get off the stage.". So you want a few extra days? What do I know, maybe you need it. And if I have some prolonged musical inspiration, you guys can wait a while until I'm done. Respect.
I have two things to say. First off, I didn't properly get even a single day this month, because the day that was supposed to be mine kept getting interrupted by you idiots. So respect? Not so obvious that it's here.
Ouch.
Secondly, it's 3:38 AM and I am falling on my face. Tomorrow.
Tomorrow.
It is 3:23 PM on June 2nd and still we haven't finished this post and gotten back to life. This is absolutely unacceptable.
I agree. The trouble is, the next month hasn't really started yet and the last month is over already. So if someone's running a day by the Rules, where does the score go?
Does it matter? There needs to be a day in progress.
Tell me, what were you doing earlier today?
There is no "today" because we're not keeping time!
You were reading comics, that's what you were doing! I saw you! How you can be entertained by such passive activities, I have no idea.
Well, what am I supposed to be doing? There's no schedule, no plan, no discipline... Where is the person, anyway?
Just a second.
Sorry, what were you asking?
What were you doing just now?
E-mails. There's a big battle going on, with a giant worm about to devour a nearby building.
Dungeons and Dragons.
It's better than comics!
Shut up.
Ah good, we're here. So yesterday we were discussing the concept of respect between characters, and what that entails.
What do you guys think of how the post looks?
Pretty darn good.
Yeah. I left out the borders, so that the person would just sort of be part of the background.
Speaking of which, can I take back my vote for the person to run the meeting? He's driving it into the ground.
I volunteer to take over.
Just a second, someone wrote another e-mail.
I don't believe this!
Hee hee. She said I'm cool.
Yeah, the person can't be in charge. Terrible idea. Neither can the thinker,
What?
because he's just going to keep talking forever without taking any of us into account. We can't have a meeting where no one is willing to listen to anyone else.
I'm listening.
No, you're not. You deal with flesh-and-blood people, that's all you know. Fictional characters are just imitation-people, as far as you're concerned. The first thing we need is a schedule for the meeting. That's the worker's department. We need to give him points to include. I'd like to specifically focus on creating rules to maintain momentum throughout the month. Anyone else?
First off, I'd like to get back to the May 2011 plan, and assess whether or not we've achieved anything. Secondly, and maybe this should even be first, I set more specific goals for everyone at the start of the month and no one seems to have really followed them. We've also drifted off the general structure of the month, in which the worker and addict were supposed to be a lot more prominent. The addict ended up only being used for the blog
Keep your talking points for when we're all thinking about them. Does anyone else have anything to suggest?
Yeah. Each one of us needs to quickly say what they've done this month, one after the other. I don't know what that's gonna sound like, but that's the point of all of this.
We need to get out of this house. Immediately.
Why?
Yesterday I wanted to play around with accents, and I needed to be careful not to be too loud because someone might hear me.
I'd like to sing.
I can't dance, I can't talk out loud, I can't play music while I'm doing other things...
Sure you can.
A building dictates how it's used. And I have been in this one building for too many years now.
Just now, this lady was saying that I'm cool for doing lots of different things, and I was thinking: "Me? I live in my parents' house, I don't have a job, I spend more time talking to myself
Selves.
I spend more time talking to myself
You mean selves.
It's not a good situation. How is it that Dena's already moved out, and I'm still here?
Whoa, whoa. Ageist!
I don't see how we can get out.
We just need to do it. There's too much thinking around here.
Okay, well, we can talk about this when we're planning for next month. Are there any other points to raise?
Why didn't I get a day?
Because we didn't need you.
And what about what I need?
You have Shabbat. Every single Shabbat, a seventh of our entire life.
Okay, I don't think we can squeeze anything else into this meeting. If there's anything else, it'll have to be next month. Now, worker, I know you want to get out of here. That makes sense. So let's plan out the rest of the post, and make it as few sections as possible while working in everything everyone wants.
Okay. I'd like to be out of here by 7:00, so how much time does that leave for each section...?
In the interest of expediency, I'll do it myself. First we'll each summarize the month. Then we discuss what we've said, and why some characters get more days than others. That's the first section. Then in the second section we'll figure out how that fits in with the general and specific plans we had for May. The third section is about what we can do in the future to fix the problems. And the fourth section plans June, leading straight into the next performance reviews. Does anyone have any problem with this plan?
There should be a menu, with links to each of the sections.
That's a very good idea. It should only take a couple of minutes.
No! No. Let's just get started.
Are you sure? I'd really like to do this.
We've wasted enough time. It can be a linear post, no one cares.
I notice the gamer hasn't said much.
Nothing much to say.
Here's how this works. You say what you've done, and then you give up the mike. I want a real stream of back-and-forth, back-and-forth, rapid-fire cutting. Okay, I'll go first.
Well?
Hey, don't underestimate the value of silence for setting a mood!
This is so cool.
I improvised a bunch of Zelda variations.
I drew in the top of Angles & Circles!
I only got one day, for playing D&D and going out with the family, and the worker watched TV because he thought I wasn't "busy" enough or something. Who gives him the right?
Sh, keep it moving, keep it moving.
I did what everyone else wanted.
All right.
I wrote a chapter and a half of a book, and played a lot of Fluidity, which is
Keep it movin'.
I programmed sd, then I improved sd, then I did the whole new PR system.
Yeah. That was good work.
No commentary yet!
Well, I don't think I can properly review everything that happened this month under these restrictions.
No! You've got this, keep going.
What is the point of this exercise?
There's a beat. You gotta go with the beat, feel the beat... thinker - go.
I co-wrote a very short screenplay, and, um, I invented a good character for Dungeons & Dragons, and I wrote a review of Secret Avengers but the programmer seems to think it's not ready to go up yet.
It's not. But it'll be awesome. Trust me, I'm doing it justice.
It shouldn't be too difficult. It'll mostly be the same code as Living in Hyrule.
The addict. The addict should be here, where's the addict?
Sleeping.
Still?
So what was the point of this whole bit?
Be quiet for just a second. I'm rereading the session. I need to see how it sounds.
Yeah. Awesome. Look at this. You don't know what the next line is gonna be! Is it going to be a gamist, or an awesome musician, is it gonna follow the plan or take a weird left turn... if we're one person, we're one person who can do anything, and knows it, and loves it.
O-kay. Are you just going to go praising yourself here? Because it's kind of painful to watch, and you could have done that without putting us through that tedious silliness. Can we just review the scores and move on?
You're a buzzkill. And I love you anyway.
The average score for the month is 6.75/10, just barely too low to level up. I got five days, with an average of 5/10.
Wow. That's pretty bad.
Yeah. I'll do better.
You've said this before.
Well, this time I mean it.
You've meant it before.
What do you want from me?
Excuse me, but this really is very simple. You did badly because you were too vague. Plan with more specificity, and you'll be fine.
Specificity. I'll do my best. (Specificity.)
I got three days, with an average of 8.33/10.
Very respectable. I had four days, and my average score was 7.75/10.
I didn't get a day.
But that day you supposedly didn't get was a big zero. Passivity builds on itself, this is a problem you're going to have to deal with. It's no one's fault but your own if you can't keep control of a day. I got a 5 and a 9, for an average of exactly 7.
Average score: 7.5/10
(2 days)
And the addict got an average of 8/10, for following up on all our blog projects. That was much appreciated. In fact, I think we should all give as many of our days as we can to the addict. He's reliable, he doesn't get distracted, he's capable of anything.
Out of the question. He'll burn himself out. It also is the equivalent of wandering around in a fog, since the addict is only ever capable of thinking of one thing at a time.
How many simultaneous "things" do you think are needed for most activities?
No. It's out of the question to rely on the addict like that.
I had a problem I couldn't deal with.
What's that?
The bottom of Angles & Circles. I gave it to the worker, and he kept trying it over and over but it didn't go anywhere. And now I'm scared to go back to it.
I'll figure it out.
Really? That's not the sort of thing you usually think about.
I promise you, by the end of my next day, you'll have a way forward.
Thanks.
So that's why you weren't working on it. Interesting. In the future, you should definitely hand things like this over to me.
I'll keep that in mind.
By the way, I would like to point out the obvious and say that the programmer has won the month. 8.33? Kudos.
I just dealt with the problems in front of me.
That's a good attitude. I wish others here had acted like that, just doing what needed to be done instead of acting like children. The thinker made reasonable demands
Oh, are we on that already? New section.
You were talking about the thinker's plan.
Really? I had no idea.
It's just good form to repeat that at the beginning of a page.
I was supposed to keep all of your projects going. I did that, to the best of my ability, but it got a lot harder when your projects all mysteriously dried up. The explorer should have been working on A&C, the programmer should have been programming a rename function, the thinker should have written the second Dungeon Master script by now, and the musician should have worked on something a little bit more substantial than an improvisaton! Oh, and the addict was not meant for the blog. He was meant for everyone! This has just been a complete failure of a month.
I disagree.
What happened this month was a progression from a scattershot approach (which is what my plan was calling for) to a more unified "team" approach that revolved around the blog. Until very recently, there was no place on the blog for you, or for the gamer, or for the programmer, or even the explorer once you get down to it. It was one stream of thought: mine.
I had the performance reviews.
Yes, given a lesser status and maintaining the dualistic "1.0 vs. 2.0" conflict. The unified person, comfortable with all his many aspects, was not welcome in his abstract home until just now. Can you imagine this post right now being written in February? Unthinkable. It's a regression
It is a regression.
It's not a regression, I meant it would have seemed like one. The problem with the old blog wasn't that it sense of self was fractured, it's that those pieces kept arguing with each other and insisting that there's only one "right" way to think. Here we are, having a frank discussion about where we're going, and each of us has different ideas but we're willing to listen to each other. So yeah it's actually the second day of June already, and during May we didn't have the kind of understanding that would have the explorer pass his things to me, and the gamer helping others, and all of us willing to end our days and "pass the mike", as musician put it. (Those names really should be capitalized. Can we take a vote on it?) But we were going for a character who was creative but also cohesive, and that took a month just to put into position. It's the blog that's the glue. The blog needed to be set up just right, so that every single one of us will have a place here. That's what's going to make this version of life different.
Does anyone have anything to add to that?
It was well said.
I still want to know why I only got one day.
You only got one day because you weren't needed. The worker was carrying everyone's projects. So he got five days. I was trying to set a course for all of us, so I got four days. The programmer was helping with the blog. The gamer was contributing to the blog as well. You were giving us nothing. If you want us to stop treating you like you're wasting our time, stop ignoring us.
You're going to need me.
I'm sure that's true. So I hope for all our sakes that you learn to fit in somehow. We're people too. You need to accept that.
So, what, you want me to put aside what real people want from me because it clashes with what you want?
Yes. That is exactly what we want.
I don't care. You're right, we're going to need you to deal with the outside world.
Have we come to any sort of consensus about May?
No.
Let's move on. It bothers me that we haven't been exercising.
Well, that's fixed simply enough. A penalty for not exercising?
Does anyone object to a penalty for not exercising before the day?
Sometimes it's not an option.
That's rare, and I'm talking about a penalty of one point. Hardly a day-killer.
That would do it.
Excellent. I'm also going to apply this to general hygiene and not staying awake past 3:00 AM. Objections?
I can live with that.
I'm editing the Rules post to fit.
There should be a link between here and there, but I want this post to end already and it has been going for soooo long.
You too?
You know, this has taken a lot longer than I thought it would. We've spent enough hours on this; the rest will have to wait for next month. Also, I'm anxious to take the new PR system for a drive already.
No! We still haven't decided where we're going from here!
Fine. Any quick thoughts?
Quick?
You can say whatever you want, but say it in the plans for the month. We're going to end the meeting here.
Thank God.
Please, if you have comments for each other, pass them back and forth during the month. We can't wait for the meeting to do everything. Also, come to the next meeting prepared. We should schedule it for the last day of June, so we don't run into this time-wasting again. And we should all come prepared, so that we have a decent shot at actually getting through everything. And another thing I've decided during all this: attendance is not mandatory. If you've got nothing to add to the conversation, don't wast our time. Okay, let's publish the post now.
Back
Back
Go back
I am playing Mory Buckman, an experimental blogger in the early 21st century. The goal of the game is to get points.
Opening statement: Short and vague. Anything beginning with "I wonder..." will do, or "Remember when...". Any question or random thought offered is going to be followed up on somehow, because the explorer tends to fixate on small ideas.
Closing statement: Long and appreciative of whatever I've experienced. If I don't have anything to say, I've been living the whole day wrong. The statement will conclude with an idea for a day that someone else should follow. If the average score for the month is equal to or above 7/10, the statement may conclude with an idea for a day that someone else should follow.
Edited on July 3rd 2011
Opening statement: A full schedule for the day, down to the minute. The activities are ordered according to priority, with time-wasters coming last. The statement ends with the sentence: "I'm not good enough, but today will be perfect." If the average score for the month is equal to or above 7/10, the first half of that sentence will be left out.
Closing statement: A list of accomplishments from the day. Also, I need to specify and justify each and every deviation from the schedule.
Opening statement: A brief list of intended activities. The more specific the goals, the better. They do not necessarily have to be games, and some of them may be in the same game. A strong plan will contain at least three different Forms. The list may not include any plans with clear practical value.
Closing statement: A critique of the day's most notable experiences.
I love it!
It remains to be seen how tonight will go.
will it be ad-libbed?
will it flow?
I'm waiting to know!
by the way, it was weird and cool seeing our conversation from your perspective.
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